Confusion and Clarity

What I need

2009-07-30T01:13:00.003-04:00

This week I'm attending the School of Congregational Development in Evanston, IL. Today was the first day of the School, and so far, I've been challenged and called to a deeper sense of ministry. Two major highlights from the day, outside of good food and conversation with new colleagues in ministry. The two major highlights have been:
1. Hearing Bishop James Swanson preach at the Opening Plenary. Sometimes, when I hear really good African-American preachers, I wish that I could preach like that. Listening to Bishop Swanson was one of those time. Bishop Swanson spoke on the importance of raising up young people to follow God's call to ministry, which is a topic which I'm very passionate about. Over the past three years that I've worked in full-time youth ministry, I've realized the critical role that is in place when it comes to calling students into places of ministry. Often, as an adult watching students grow in their desire to follow Jesus, I am more cognizant of God's working in their lives than they are, so a major part of my job is to nurture and name the good gifts of God in the lives of students. Currently, I have several students who I believe God is calling into ministry, and I've spent much time thinking about ways to help students understand that call. I was really hoping to take some of my students to Exploration 09, but it's in Dallas, so it's probably cost prohibitive. Listening to the Bishop this morning about the ways that the Holston Conference mentors young people into ministry, I had to stop and wonder "Why can't we do that?" Why can't we set up some Exploration like weekends? Why can't we challenge students to full-time ministry at Winter Blitz? It's something that I need to keep praying about, but I might call the Conference Youth Coordinator and offer my time to developing a program that will help us raise up young people to places of leadership and ministry.

2. I've made a startling realization in my time here. I don't pray enough. Simple as that. This afternoon I was listening to Jorge Acevedo talk about ministry to the working class, and in the course of his workshop, Jorge talked about the growth of his church, Grace Church, in Florida. Listening to Jorge and hearing the stories about baptisms and changed lives makes me want to cry, and it makes me want to learn from Jorge. If Beth would move to Florida, I would do everything in my power to somehow end up on Jorge's staff, but Beth won't move to Florida, so it's not a consideration. But, as Jorge was teaching today I was struck by the fact that I really don't pray enough. I think about the lost, I brainstorm ways to meet the lost, and I even attempt to go to the places where lost people are, but rarely do I sit and pour out my heart to the Lord, interceding for those like Abram pled for Sodom. This needs to become a daily part of my work, especially if I ever want to plant a church. This should be the way that I am, and I realized today that my prayer life simply isn't what it needs to be in order to sustain myself and the ministry that God has called and gifted me for. A sobering realization, but a challenging one. I will make some changes.

All and all, a good day. I miss my wife, but that's just the way that travel is, I guess. At this point, it's off to bed for another busy day tomorrow!

A Holy Pursuit

2009-07-24T14:33:00.002-04:00

Sometimes I think that I've decided that there are some things about Christian Spirituality that we've heard enough...I need to think of something new or pertinent or relevant...something that will rock the world and make people stop and stare and say "Wow! I've never thought of that before!! My life has been changed!!" Yet I'm realizing that this is not the way I need to be...I don't need to think of a different story. I don't need to call to a different, life-changing place, because honestly, the only true life-changing story is that of a God who pursues, calls and redeems. I need to tell that story...

I'm reminded of that this week. Last night I got a Facebook message from one of my students (insert scolding note here from someone about doing work while I'm on vacation and about the ways that technology keeps us chained to our lives of work......OK, now I'll continue) about a boy named Kenzie. Kenzie is a sophomore in high school who comes from a broken home and a bad situation. Kenzie has no belief in God, and from what I understand, he's always been a little hostile towards Christians. The student who messaged me has been praying for Kenzie for a while now, believing that God would do some work in the life of this young man. Apparently Kenzie loves heavy metal music and recently had been listening to the band "Dream Theater." This is not a Christian band, but while Kenzie was reading the lyrics, something stood out to him. He came to band, found a student who he knows follows Jesus and asked her if she knew anyone who could talk to him about God and the Bible. Suddenly he was curious about God and about who God might be. So, hopefully next week I'll be sitting down with a curious student whose curiousity about Jesus has been piqued by the death metal band called Dream Theater. Please continue to pray for God's prevenient grace to be flowing into this young man's life and please continue to pray for me, as I have the opportunity to simply share the good news of God's love.

Isn't it incredible the ways that God pursues us? From the fall of humanity, God has been beckoning people, wooing people, running after us in order to let us know of God's great love. God pursues messed up high school students like Kenzie and God pursues middle age success stories. God pursues junkies, drop-outs, alcoholics, lawyers, doctors, mothers, fathers, middle schoolers and even dentists. While I might believe that dentists practice the devil's handiwork, God even pursues dentists. God meets us where we're at and reveals Godself to us through ways we can't even begin to dream up. God writes stories of pursuit and love that even Hollywood couldn't make into a movie, because it would seem too far fetched. And probably the best thing about it is that God continues to pursue us. Sometimes I wonder why God continues to give chase to us, and then I realize that God continues to pursue because we continue to wander away. We in the church are like the people of Israel who are in the wilderness. We've seen God part the Red Sea, we've seen God deliver from slavery to sin and death, we've eaten manna from heaven and experienced God's provision, but as soon as we get the chance, we move along and make ourselves an idol...maybe because it's easier to get attached to, maybe because a golden calf isn't as demanding as a holy God, maybe because we think that we can ride it away...but even then, God continues to hunt us down and show us just a glimpse of the fact that following a Holy God is SO much better than a golden cow. Sometimes we simply get impatient with God's timing and hard work and decide that we should just make our own calf. We run away, but God is hot in pursuit.

The other thing that is so difficult for us in the church to understand about God's wild goose chase after people is that we don't get to choose who God pursues. Shortly after I received the note about Kenzie I shared the exciting news with the family we're on vacation with. I told the kids about this other kid that they might now who is suddenly interesting in meeting up with God. When I told them his name, their faces fell. One of the girls looked at me and said "If Kenzie starts coming to Youth Group, I probably won't be there for a while." Apparently, all throughout middle school, Kenzie called the girls derogatory names and said and did hurtful things. Beth calmly looked around the table and said "The secret is that church really isn't for the Christians anyway." While I know that she would never actually NOT come, I realize the truth to that sentiment...too often we'd rather pick who gets to come in and who gets left out, when the truth of the matter is this...God, like all the cops in those TV cop shows, is in hot pursuit. And God, who is so good, invites us to help make sure that God gets everyone God's after...May our churches be filled with those people who we thought were far beyond God's grace, and may God in work in such a way that we are always reminded of God's holy pursuit...of us and of others.

Oh Adam...

2009-07-22T23:56:00.002-04:00

While I noted that I am planning to blog as a theological discipline, I also noted that I plan to blog about Pirates baseball. Interestingly enough, today presented itself as an excellent day to blog about Pirates baseball, as I was able to listen to the game AND hear Neil Huntington talk about the LaRoche trade. In that vain, a few thoughts...

1. When I first read about the trade, I thought that the headline said the Pirates traded ANDY LaRoche, not ADAM LaRoche. This made me very upset, as I thought that they traded away a young player who was integral in last year's Bay deal, but once I realized that we were trading away this brother, I felt much better.

While I have always had hope for Adam LaRoche and the short right field fence, I have always been disappointed. He's never seemed to live up to the billing that's been presented. He came to Pittsburgh after a season in ATL where he hit 32 HR, and he's never been able to get it back together. His stats show him to be a lousy first half hitter, and by the time the second half rolls around the Pirates are out of it, so no one has ever noticed that LaRoche has always hit well in the second half, with his July-September BA hovering around .300 and his HR totals increasing throughout the season.

I hope that LaRoche does well in Boston. For what I hear, he's always been the consummate professional, and he's always hit well in the clutch, so he should be a benefit to the Sox in late innings of close games. I hold no ill will towards the Pirates for trading LaRoche...after all, you won't win in the postseason if he's the best player on your team. I'm suprised in the semi-prospects they received in return, but anything back is better than nothing at all. While Diaz and Strickland seem like marginal prospects, they don't hurt anything, that's for sure.

What really threw me off guard, though, is the fact that Steven Pearce will be getting the call-up rather than Lastings Milledge. Milledge has hit .400 in 10 games at Indianapolis, and while I don't have any probem with K-Machine Pearce, I really thought that Lastings would switch into a corner outfield positions, allowing the hot bat of Garrett Jones sneak into the line-up at first. We'll see how much longer Lastings lasts at Indy.

As for the game, it was an exciting game to listen to, with a lot of back and forth action, culminating in Brandon Moss' HR to center field. I appreciated listening to the game and enjoyed the walk-off in the ninth. The Bucs have been playing better of late, and hopefully they'll keep it up!!

A New Start (or something)

2009-07-22T11:31:00.002-04:00

Although I haven't blogged for over a year, I've decided to start again...For several reasons, really, but probably only one that is legit...Here's my reasons in list form...

1. I think that what I have to say is probably earth-shattering and everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, will be completely transformed by my words. Or soemthing like that...Maybe that's just my Superman complex coming through in a big-time sort of way.

2. I think that my insight of Pittsburgh sports teams needs to be shared. Especially when it comes to my insights regarding the Pirates, because I spend a LOT of time thinking about baseball. Probably more than I should.

3. I think that the legitimate reason that I'm going to attempt blogging again is to attempt a new discipline. I was commissioned as a Provisional Elder this year at Annual Conference, and I have been appointed to be the Associate Pastor of Youth Ministry at Nicholasville UMC. This is the same job that I've been doing for the past three years, and while I love my job, I realize that I don't get the opportunity to preach, and that's something that it really difficult for me. I recently asked Eric Park how he has taken the energy that he used to put into preaching and focused it at something else since his move to the Superintendency. Eric mentioned the discipline of blogging, and I was intrigued, so I'm going to give it a shot...I don't think that what I have to say is as good as what Eric says, but hopefully it will allow me to continue to develop the discipline of theological thinking that would lead to preaching while I don't have the opportunity to preach. It's worth a shot at least.

4. Finally, I realize that my mom will read this. She'll probably be about it, but I know that she'll appreciate it...

So, here's to nothing...a new start. We'll see how long it lasts.

A Quick Reflection

2008-05-01T09:36:00.003-04:00

Yesterday was a tough day. I wrote an extensive blog post about it and then it got lost. I'll try and write a little later and reflect on the day. For now, I need to reflect on the day that lies in front of us. Worship is happening in the main hall, but I can't really be there right now...I just need a moment.

Today we await a visit from the protestors. Yesterday there was much pain and we will be reminded of that today. As I think about this, my stomach gets tied up in knots and I get a lump in my throat. I dread today because it shows so clearly the brokenness of God's Church.

I experienced my first General Conference when I was 18. That year the Conference was held in Cleveland, and has been remembered as one of the most difficult Conferences because of the particularly divisive protest. The protest scene is Cleveland is seared into my mind with amazing clarity. I don't remember my high school graduation as well as I remember the 2nd Thursday of General Conference in Cleveland. While I appreciate the opportunity that I had to go to General Conference that year, I was too young to experience that kind of pain that comes through protest. What is difficult is that this year reminds me of Cleveland.

That experience changed the way I look at church and as I reflect, has shaped part of my call in the Church. Cleveland showed me clearly the broken and divided parts of the church and called me to somehow speak to that. Ever since that day I have struggled to know how to hold orthodoxy as I know it with abundant grace. I have struggled to hold beliefs and build bridges. I do the best I can, but I know that I don't have it all figured out. Protests bring up anger inside of me, but also extreme hurt. It reminds me that when "one part of the body hurts so does the rest." Today, our United Methodist body is hurt, and I struggle to know how to hold that hurt in tension with the idea that we made the correct choice.

Today reminds me of part of my call...to preach, to teach, to lead and to build up the body of Christ. Today the body of Christ is hurt, and I pray that while a witness is shown to the hurt of the body, that the witness will not be too dividing. As a witness happens today, I will probably pray and weep for the Church and I will ask that God continue to grow gifts in me that will allow me to know how to speak and work within pain. Please pray for me as well.

Difficult times

2008-04-30T13:22:00.002-04:00

The conversations are just beginning. I hate this day, as it shows the deep woundedness in the church. There are no winners and losers today, only very broken people. Delegates from across Africa have heard the buzzword "homosexuality" and although we are just discussing a resolution on homophobia. The day is going to become more difficult before it gets better. Please be in prayer.

prayers needed

2008-04-30T10:24:00.003-04:00

Issues of human sexuality will come to the floor this morning. This is probably my least favorite day, as it creates pain, hurt and division and just isn't fun. Please pray for the church we love today. It is of utmost importance.

2008-04-29T23:14:00.002-04:00

Today I had several incredible visits from Starflower, the magic wallet fairy. I received a "magic wallet" from the Asbury Lunch. So far, every time I come back to the table something new has appeared with Starflower's mark. This is a mysterious fairy and the only person who has possibly seen it is Eric Park. Ask him about it!

Wow it's late.

For the transformation if the world

2008-04-29T16:36:00.003-04:00

Well, the presiding Bishop matters...
Today, after debating meaningless petitions for hours on end we finally got to something meaningful. Now realize, we spent 20 minutes last night deciding whether we should reduce speech times to save time. Today a petition came before the body to add the words "for the transformation of the world" to the mission statement of the church. Today we debated the mission of the church for less than 10 minutes. Two amendments were proposed and the entirety of our time was spent debating these two motions. We didn't even debate the proposed change because Bishop Swenson, one of our more liberal bishops who was presiding decided that she wanted to vote before an order of the day...our break.
This was very frustrating to me because I really wanted to speak against the idea. See, I'm not against the transformation of the world. In fact, I'm very for it but I'm not for it in our mission statement. Why? Because Jesus said "Go and make disciples." that was it! Our call is to make disciples for the sake of disciple making. Disciple making is the end, not the means to an end. See, here's the thing...God is the One who transforms AND the world cannot help but ne transformed when disciples are made. This is a small but important detail. And it matters, but we only took 10 minutes to talk about it. Very frustrating.

Am I making too big a deal of this? Let me know what you think

Hey! That's me!!

2008-04-29T15:40:00.001-04:00

www.gc2008.umc.org

2008-04-29T01:19:00.002-04:00

Things didn't pick, at least substantially but we were able to get our work for the day fully accomplished so that was nice. All legislation that had financial implications have been cared for so thats a step in the right direction. I found out today that more of my legislation has been pulled from the Consent Calendar so I have more to present. I'm not going to complain...I like doing stuff like this.

Judicial Council elections did not go as planned yesterday. No one that I had supported was elected so that was disheartening. It makes me nervous about the legislation that probably will come to the floor today concerning human sexuality. There was a substantial change to the wording of the homosexuality stuff that doesn't say we affirm but it changes the language in a way that makes me uncomfortable. My hunch is that the pro homosexual lobby will stage a protest on the floor today and that's never fun. We'll see if it happens. Please pray for us today as we make decisions and strive together to be united.

I'm excited that we get to hear from the President of Liberia who is a UM. Security tightens substantially, but it should be interesting.

Pray for continued guidance and strength. Sleep has been limited and my body is tired. This conference us a marathon ran at a sprinters pace.

Matt

2008-04-28T17:46:00.002-04:00

Today has been a good day. We've been in main plenary all day, slowly slogging through the mountain of legislation. We're currently dealing with an amended petition as well as a minority report on the global relationship of the church. It's slow going and I'm not sure that we'll ever get through this at this rate. Slow times but good time.

A guy just stood up and introduced himself as Chapel Temple from the Texas Conference and then said "Yes that is my real name." Funny stuff.

The highlight of the day has to be hearing from the East Africa Childrens Choir. This was a group of "orphaned and vulnerable children" and I think that describes them pretty well. Seeing these children who had no hope sing triumphant praise to Jesus. These children truly understood the power of hope. The kids sang and danced and found hope in Christ because of the UMC. That's why we do what we do...offer to all people new hope through Jesus Christ.

I need to pay attention because I'm sure things will pick up. At least I hope so.

2008-04-27T23:07:00.002-04:00

Saturday was Day 4. Saturday morning we heard from Bishop Hutchinson who called us to move beyond a baptism of water alone to a baptism of the Holy Spirit. Powerful stuff as he called us to pray down the power of the Holy Spirit. May it be so in the UMC.

We spent the remainder of the day in legislative committees and my committee worked really hard to get all of our stuff done last night and we did. We had very little controversial pieces, but we did authorize the hymnal study committee, although I've since learned that piece will come before the body as a whole. I've heard that the legislation in Church and Society is being passed that will strengthen our anti-abortion stance but we'll see. Tomorrow starts full plenary so that should be exciting.

Today was a day to relax for me and I was able to hitch a ride to The Ballpark in Arlington to see a Rangers/Twins game. After a tiring and stressful week it was a good break. Please pray for me as I've had a couple difficult situations to handle in my role as chair and I covet your prayers as we move forward.

The pro-homosexual protestors moved in today in full force. They can be a difficult group to know how to respond to as I strive to embody the life of Christ. I've asked myself how I can strike up a life-giving conversation with some who share a radically different perspective than I do. I know that I don't want to embody hate but I truly want my actions to be infused with grace.

Tomorrow I will be presenting legislation from the podium to the General Conference on behalf of my committee. Pretty awesome. You can stream it live if you want to!

Keep praying friends
Matt

Town and Country Ministries

2008-04-26T11:09:00.002-04:00

Today we are celebrating the ministries of millions of people and thousands of churches that are located in small and rural areas. We have heard a call to continued support of small churches ministries, as they bring hope and healing to places that often are deeply affected by poverty. As I think about small churches I can't help but think about the small churches that have mentored and grown me. I think about places like Red Bird Mission that has a vibrant minstry among some of the nation's poorest people. I think about my parents who have grown vibrant ministries in small places. They have remained in small places and have left behind the kind of prestige that many seek in order to stay faithful to God's call. This morning we celebrate ministry that happens all over the in places like Hyndman, Palo Alto, Buffalo Mills and Townville. Thanks be to God.

Day 3, I think

2008-04-25T20:41:00.002-04:00

It's day 3 I think but I'm not really sure. Its been a long couple days, but things are going well. Last night I was elected to chair the legislative sub-committee dealing with youth and young adult issues. Last night and all day today I led a group of approximately 40 people through 30 pieces of legislation. I really enjoy doing stuff like that so I had a lot of fun and we were able to get through all 30 pieces today so we have a night off! Yes!

This morning Bishop Salome spoke which marked the first time that a Bishop preached who preached in a language other than English with an interpreter. He preached with power and asked the question "why have we stopped making disciples?" He surmised that we have stopped loving God. He reminded us of the three rules that Wesley gave when he said do no harm, do good, and stay in love with God. May these rules meet and speak to us today.
Amen.

just to brag

2008-04-24T21:56:00.001-04:00

there is a cool story about me at www.gbhem.org in the news section. Just FYI.

2008-04-24T21:12:00.002-04:00

well its been a busy few days. Please forgive my lack of punctuation and capitalization as I'm writing on a tiny cramped keyboard. A couple highlights from the first 24 hours.
Last night was Opening Worship and it is always the highlight of the Conference. We sang God of Grace and God of Glory which was very appropriate for our work together. At one point I was moved almost to the point of tears as we sang that great hymn of the church. It turned into a long night as we had to establish the Rules, and that turned into a long process. After about five hours of sleep we were back at it this morning. Today turned into a great day! We spent most of the day hearing from the Bishops, which turned out to be great. The Bishops have beenmore vocal than ever before and seem to be providing excellent leadership. They are proposing four major areas of focus which could have a tremendous impact on the way we work as a church. The four areas are congregational starts and re-development, a focus on raising up young leadership, a focus on eliminating poverty and a focus on global health. These areas where proposed with measurable ideas of success and accountability. Really exciting to think what we could do!

Probably the most disappointing thing so far was the Young People's address. The five individuals chosen to speak did not represent well young people well, as they advocated for things that are much more liberal than most. I was disappointed that they did not lay out a vision and dream for the Church. A missed opportunity.

Committee meetings about to start! Keep praying!

And it begins...

2008-04-23T10:59:00.002-04:00

And it begins...
I arrived in Ft. Worth yesterday night and after working out some hotel kinks, I settled in. This morning we had a Delegation Heads meeting, and now I'm set for the rest of the day.

The hustle and bustle of the Convention Center is pretty astounding, considering that things don't really kick off for another 8 hours. Caucus Groups are already handing out their propaganda and conversations are already happening concerning Legislative Committee chairs. This time around, I feel more aware of people who present themselves in one way without really demonstrating their full ideas until later. I keep reminding myself that God moves in messy places, and although the Conference hasn't even kicked off yet, I think that it could be a messy place, full of politics.

I'm off to take a nap...Last night was a short night, and it promises to be one of the longer nights of the week.

Keep praying, friends.
MGJ

The world according to one of my students...

2007-10-01T16:33:00.000-04:00

The world is a broken place...

In this world, cutting helps some deal, everyone is getting fat. No one is telling the truth, lying is consistent, self-made tears can be blue tears or red droplets, war goes on everyday to try and achieve peace and people are starving to death. Charity is a thing of the past, we all lie to ourselves and everyone around us, nowhere is safe, everyone has phobias and multiple fears. We all lose hope, money controls us all and friends all carry knives in order to stab you in the back when you aren't looking. Disease runs wild, relationships are harder, hook-ups and one night stands happen more often, underage drinking is popular, illegal drugs are being taken, smiles are fakes, homes are broken, life-spans are shorter, material things are a must and abuse is high. Sex is meaningless, boys are jerks, girls are the equivalent of the devil, nobody cares, everyone fends for themselves, animals are being eaten, and forests are destroyed. Health is getting worse, STD's are common, rumors are spread like wildfire, trust is slim, honesty is disappearing and crying is a daily activity.

Man, the world needs Jesus, huh? Reminds me of why we do what we do...

2007-08-29T16:42:00.000-04:00

It's been a while since I've posted anything meaningful...I keep meaning to, but...

Last week I started a teaching series with my Sr. High students called "The Justice Mission." It's a Youth Specialties cirriculum that works with the International Justice Mission that works to give students a perspective on God's heart for the poor and oppressed. Last week I had done the prep work...watched the video clip, reviewed the cirriculum, chosen the appropriate questions and was set to go. As I started to teach, I found myself getting more and more swept up by what I was teaching. Rarely do I get emotional when I teach, but as I talked about God's heart for the oppressed, how God HATES oppression and poverty, it was all I could do to hold back tears. I didn't see it coming, and didn't expect it. I hope that it continues and that students continue to see the passion in my heart that I didn't realize that I had...

Side note: Many of you have heard of or read Shane Claiborne. I recently found out that The Simple Way community in Philly was burnt to the ground by a fire started in an abandoned warehouse that was owned by the city of Philadelphia. Over the last two months, the community has attempted to rebound and the city (apparently) has been terrible to work with. Please keep them in your prayers and make the Call of the Day if you have time...It's a prime example of oppression and injustice within our very state! May we be called to show God's heart to the city of Philly!

Yeah, I'm a Simpson's character...

2007-08-08T14:44:00.000-04:00

That was AWESOME!

2007-08-06T13:19:00.000-04:00

Yeah...That helped make for a pretty awesome weekend. The Ocoee River in TN...The 1996 Olympic Whitewater. Awesome.

What a week!!

2007-07-18T17:42:00.000-04:00

"We went to help the broken, and God used them to break our hearts."
-Justin Baxter, 12th grade

Justin shared the above quote on Sunday morning during the 11:00 service. His comments continue to send chills up my spine because they are so accurate...God broke our hearts, and moved among us. God used our students to show compassion and grace to the least of these, but God used the least of these to change us. None of the 30 people who went our the trip last week are the same...Thanks be to God!

Some highlights include:
-In one house we drywalled the living room and kitchen, including the ceilings. We remodeled a bathroom from the floor boards up. We took out a window, reframed the wall, insulated and sided. We sanded and taped drywall in the bedrooms and eventually painted it all. As we left, the husband looked at his wife and said "This is looking like a home, rather than a shack."

-In one trailer, we skirted the trailer, replaced the windows and door and eventually fixed the back wall of the trailer that had been ripped from the back by building a frame to reattach the wall to the trailer. Pretty incredible stuff for 22 teenagers!

-Toward the end of the week, the students approached us because they wanted to paint the drywall in the house. Two teenage girls lived in those rooms, and our girls had forged a new friendship with the girls, and our girls wanted to do something extra for their new friends. Unfortunately, money wasn't going to allow paint (or new lineolium in the bathroom) and our students decided they wanted to give their own money to buy paint. Their hearts were broken, and a coat of paint quickly covered the walls.

-The lady who lived in the trailer lived there without electricity or running water. She had lost everything that she had in a fire about 10 months earlier. As our students worked, they decided she needed new curtains for her windows, and after a trip to Wal-Mart, she had new curtains, a new area rug, and sheets and blankets for her bed...that they paid for with their own money. Toward the end of the week, a guy pulled out his wallet and handed me all the money that was inside. When I protested and told him that it was too much he said "I have a paycheck at home...They have nothing. It's the least I can do."

-On Tuesday night, we began devotions. I had my devotions ready, but I wasn't even close to being prepared for what was about to happen. In what I consider a Pentecost moment for our group, the Holy Spirit showed up in a powerful way. I began to speak and towards the end, I offered an invite to accept Jesus Christ (this was not in my original plan!). That night, three students accepted Christ and 7 others rededicated their lives to Jesus. For the next three hours I talked to students and prayed with students. One student made the decision to get baptized and give his life fully to Jesus. Two senior high guys poured their hearts out and told me about the many struggles they encounter. Toward the end of our conversation, i said "What can I do to help you guys follow Jesus?" and with tears one guy responded "This. Talk to us. Go to Taco Bell with us. Play frisbee golf with us. Let us know that we're not hopeless and help us follow Jesus." I still cry when I think about that Holy moment and the absolutely overwhelming affirmation of my ministry there. It hit home for me, as I had been questioning my ministry effectiveness...Thanks be to God for being bigger than my missteps and using me for God's greater purposes.

-On Friday, the homeowner wanted to thank the kids for their hard work. She left about 2 PM and returned about 3 PM with six pizzas from Little Caesars. She couldn't afford the pizza...it was extravagant and an incredible thank you and the students knew that. That night I told my students that I wanted to serve them communion with pizza, just so they could get a picture of God's extravagant grace. May we always embody the extravagant grace that is given to us.

I have more stories and more pictures...Too many to put here. But I'll close with the statement I made to the congregation on Sunday morning...
"I put a hole in the bus. Two actually. I accidentally got the church bus wedged between a cliff and the overhang of a cabin and promptly put two holes in the roof of the bus. I didn't mean to do it and I'm sorry. But the hole in the bus can't begin to compare to the brokenness of our hearts."

Thanks be to God.

Mission Trip week...

2007-07-08T08:49:00.000-04:00

In just a few hours, we'll be leaving to spend the week at Red Bird Mission in Beverly, KY. I feel like we've been prepping for this trip for a year, and I believe that God is ready to do mighty things in the hearts of my students and those we serve. As we prepared for the trip, I asked students what they wanted out of the trip...the overwhelming response was "We want to be renewed" or "We want revival" or "We want to see God." Powerful stuff...I just have to make sure that I don't get in the way...

Our students don't know what to expect...they've never seen poverty like we'll see it...They can't imagine a place where Wal-Mart isn't right down the street or where the movie theater isn't just a few miles away. They don't realize what this looks like, and that this kind of poverty happens in their own state...I hope that this screws with their heads a little and that they get a glimpse of God's heart for the poor.

I'm excited...My parents are meeting us in Beverly on their way home from Mississippi with their church...I'm really thankful and excited to minister with them...My mom remarked how exciting it is for them because I've been a part of what they've done for so long and now they are a part of our ministry...Neat stuff.

Pray for us...For revival, for safety, for changed lives, for the powerful touch of the Holy Spirit...

To God be the glory...

Someone who...

2007-06-28T11:17:00.001-04:00

A student who used to attend our group wrote this on her online profile the other day...She's broken and hurting and her whole life is in pieces. She's left the church, no longer attends Youth Group, and this is who she wants to meet...

"someone to push me to my limits. someone that will test my abilities. someone that has lived the same life i have. someone who had died for love. someone who has conquered all of their dreams. someone who isnt afraid to be themselves. someone who has pushed beyond all boundaries. someone who has beat a disease. someone who has saved anothers life. someone who would accept me and my flaws. someone who will make me their world, and i can do the same."

I know that someone...I know that someone to be Jesus Christ. Please pray for her, as she is in desperate need of a life-changing encounter that only the scandalous grace of Jesus can provide...Pray for Beth and I that we might get an opportunity to model this to her...

Christ have mercy...

5 Core United Methodist beliefs...

2007-06-20T16:32:00.000-04:00

What are 5 central United Methodist beliefs that you think that every United Methodist should know about? Just curious...

Reflections from a Christian Music Festival

2007-06-17T16:30:00.000-04:00

After returning from a weekend with 25,000 of my newest and close-est (sometimes too close, if you know what I mean) friends, I feel the need to make a couple statements about the world of a Christian Music Festival...

1. There is a difficult balance when you're trying to drink enough water to remain properly hydrated in the 90+ heat, but when you also don't want to use the porta-potties because they passed the level of disgusting about three hours into the first day.

2. Do atheists go to Christian Music festivals and pass out tracks that say "Are you sure that there REALLY is a place to go when you die?"

3. What makes techno music CHRISTIAN techno music? I heard this weird techno band (I'm not even sure what they were called) and they claimed to play Christian techno, but as with all good techno, there were no words (or even instruments other than computers!). Weird.

4. I met gypsies at the Festival...Real, live gypsies who sing gypsy music and drive around in a van that is fueled by vegetable oil. No joke.

5. Students make me laugh...In the midst of a difficult, stressful week, I was reminded that God has called me to Jessamine County and, more specifically, to Nicholasville UMC even when I don't necessarily feel called to be at Asbury Seminary at this point in my journey.

6. Students make me proud...The kid who "bought a kid!" from the Compassion table with his own $32 per month and couldn't stop talking about Ali the rest of the weekend. He wanted me to wish him happy Father's Day because "I adopted a kid!" The best part is that the guy is a Senior in High School and really was that excited.

7. The Chik-Fil-A cows that wandered through the festival and danced to Toby Mac were scary, although I have a picture of one giving me a hug. Cows were not made to walk on two feet, that's for sure!

8. Toby Mac is old...Looks like an old man. This is, of course, because he was rocking out with DC Talk when I was 13! Still can dance, though I'm not sure his moves warrant as much Jumbotron experience....I am the expert after all!

9. If you've never heard Shane Claiborne or read his book, you should. It really screwed with my students head...In a good way.

10. Should we be discussing solidarity with the poor when we paid a lot of money to get in? Seriously? How many of the bands who pushed for care of the poor do the same? How many just stole it from Bono?

11. With all due respect to Randy, what exactly is Christian metal? Seems like they sing whatever they want ( that I can't understand!) and at the end just say "We want to thank Jesus! Good night!" Does that make them Christian?

12. David Crowder Band puts on a terrific show! They even play a Guitar Hero guitar! They really understood how to maintain a balance between performing and leading worship. If you haven't heard them, you should...Great band!

13. Concerts that start past 11:00 PM are WAY too late at night!

14. It's good to have "Roger moments" with students...Named after my Dad's deep pastoral heart, conflict management, and his ability to express discipline and love at the same time. I'm learning to facilitate "Roger Moments," and I've got a great model! Happy Father's Day, especially to my Dad who is heading to the river for Canoe Camp with his Jr. High students!! May they avoid Roger moments, unless they need 'em!!

Many Thoughts...

2007-06-13T17:47:00.000-04:00

I currently have many thoughts about many things...In the next few days, I intend to blog on three topics...1. My real response to Annual Conference and 2. My fake response to Annual Conference. Tonight, though, only two thoughts...

1. Last week at Conference I consistently got razzed about my Jumbotron appearances. I, like Keith, was suprised at how many people read my blog. So, during one of these interactions, someone is telling Bob Zilhaver about my amazing Jumbotron dancing skills. As the conversation was ending Bob looked at me and said "Keep Dancing" and walked away. Although he didn't realize it, this spoke to me...It reminded me of I Corinthians were Paul speaks of the foolishness of God to the world, but our salvation. When I dance, I look foolish...very, very foolish. It's the reason that they place me on the Jumbotron. I was reminded to keep dancing, and right now, that's a good word for me.

2. Please pray for Beth and I for several reasons. We leave today with 40 students to attend the Ichthus Music Festival, so that will be a lot of fun, but that can also be stressful as we try to keep track of our 40 students around 25,000 of our new close friends. Second, please pray for Beth and I, as we received some terrible news earlier this week. It was one of those things that made me feel like I got kicked in the stomach, and we're not sure how we're going to recover. God's grace is sufficient and abundant and we know that, but right now I'm in shock. I can't say much more than that, but please pray for a way out of a difficult place and for God's provision in our life. As events unfold, I'll write more and I might ask for some assistance...We'll see.

Conference Thoughts...

2007-06-05T16:50:00.001-04:00

Tomorrow morning I fly out from Louisville to Pittsburgh for Annual Conference. I'm excited and a little bit anxious, oddly enough. I think that my anxiety rises from the 10 hour trip that I have to make on Sunday by myself in the car.

Although I've read some of the laity statements, I still haven't made my mind up on who I'm voting for. Clergy wise, I'd know, but I'm not there yet...I'll just have to subtly nudge my Dad to think the same way that I do...

I'm totally against RS 901...Christian Education Sunday. I mean, seriously...do we really need Christian Education?

Ok...I'm not against it...I always find those resolutions comical because they always pass...sometimes I want to vote against them, just for fun...I normally vote against setting the bar!

Prayers are welcomed on Thursday night as I lead a possibly contentious Section 7. We're the General Conference section, so this will require all of the Parliamentary procedure that I can muster!

I'm excited to see some old friends, especially my good friend Erik Hoeke. We commiserate about seminary, dream big dreams and enjoy Conference throughly. Normally Erik and I get together in the Spring, but that didn't work out this year, so Conference will be a good time for us to connect. I'm excited to meet some of the Youth delegates, see friends from previous appointments, and say hey to the blogging crew. The only downside about conference this year is the the Pirates are in the Big Apple...Not that I'd skip out or anything...

See you soon!

It happened again!

2007-06-03T00:10:00.001-04:00

Tonight, at a Lexington Horsemen (arena football) game I made the Jumbotron again. Seriously, I have wicked dance moves. One of the guys I was with has started calling me JJ for Jumbotron Johnson...I know, everyone is madly impressed and wishes that they could be me (especially since all I've done in the last week and a half is go to sporting events!), but maybe, just maybe, you all will someday get to be on the Jumbotron, too.

Life Goals

2007-05-29T09:20:00.000-04:00

I achieved one of my life goals yesterday...

Beth and I and a couple of our friends took a trip to Cincinnati to see the Pirates/Reds game @ Great American Ballpark. I had never been to GAB, so this was one step closer to my goal of seeing a ballgame in every big league ballpark. While the Pirates lost 4-0 we had a great time. I believe that I was the only Pirate fan in attendance (I referenced something about "Pirate Nation" and Beth told me that only encompassed myself and Erik Hoeke!), and one of the guys sitting below us even stated "I think that you're the only Pirate fan in the whole country!" Ouch. Anyway, back to my life goal...

I MADE THE JUMBO TRON! For a good 30 seconds, the huge video scoreboard showed ME dancing! I am a professional ballpark dancer, and it's my goal to try and use my mad dancing moves to get on screen every time I attend a game. I've accomplished this before many times at Minor League games (Altoona, Lexington, Harrisburg, Lancaster), but I had never managed this feat before at a Big League park. Yesterday, while dancing during the 6th inning, I finally made it. I didn't think that it would happen, especially as I was all outfitted in Pirates garb and we were in Cincy, but it did. The whole section cheered, and afterwards, I took a bow. Good stuff.

By the way (and this is how I KNOW I married the right woman) Beth wasn't even embarassed. She said that she's gotten used to it by now, and she supports me in my life goals. She was also the one who wanted to go the ballgame and suggested it! Awesome!

My Leadership project

2007-05-11T01:16:00.000-04:00

I was reading Keith's blog about leadership, and thought that it might be interesting to post a presentation that I'll be giving today, I guess, on Christian Leadership. It might be dull to watch with just the powerpoint, but I'd love to hear some feedback!

I've taken John Gardner's 9 Tasks of Leadership and connected them with Christian Leadership and the three essential functions of Christian Leadership (Governance, Direction and Liberation). It's pretty self-explanatory, really...

Here's the link...

Shuffle Up and...

2007-05-10T14:53:00.000-04:00

The Top 5 songs on my iTunes shuffle...

The First Time-U2
Great Indoors-John Mayer
Beauty and the Mess-Nickel Creek
Lonely Nation-Switchfoot
All Blues-Miles Davis

These are very different than the top 5 most played...

Still Fighting It-Ben Folds
Let My Words Be Few-Matt Redman
Annie Waits-Ben Folds
Zac and Sara-Ben Folds
Gone-Ben Folds

Obviously, I've been in a Ben Folds mood lately...Just can't beat a piano rocker...The Billy Joel of my generation.

I'm posting this because I know you all care so much. If blogging does nothing else for me, it brings to light all of my ego issues...

Brokenness...

2007-05-09T13:57:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, I received a mysterious letter postmarked from Erie with no return address. This couldn't be a second letter from the same group, I thought. It was...A second letter from "Concerned Laity in W. PA" and it was even worse than the first one. As someone who considers himself 'conservative' and 'evangelical' I apologize for the hurt and confusion that those letters cause. I'm upset that the authors attack those that they don't know, use Scripture as a weapon rather than a transforming hope, and react rather than renew. As I thought about the letters, though, I thought about two interesting things that I want to share...

1. The letters main concern revolved around fear. Fear of closed churches, fear of "unbiblical" pastors, fear of dwindling membership, etc. etc. As the writers chose to write, they wrote out of a fear for what they know, rather than a hope for what they don't. They believe that the UMC is close to death, and the only thing that brings about life is a certain understanding of sexuality. I tend to believe that which brings life is the Gospel of Christ, not a certain understanding of sexuality. I have a hope for the future of the church, and I believe in a God whose mighty acts of redemption have shaped history, and continue to give life to the church. Is orthodoxy important? Yes. Will orthodoxy renew the church? No. What will? Probably orthopraxy, but even more, the Gospel will renew the church for mission and ministry as it renews the world.

2. There is much struggle and hurt around the issues of sexuality, and much the church doesn't understand. I had to laugh as I read the two positions regarding the Sexual Wholeness seminar at Bakerstown...While our concerned laity thought it was ruined by Tracy Merrick's presentation, First Pittsburgh thought it was ruined by our concerned laity! There is much more to sexuality than homosexuality, and the church doesn't really understand ANY of it! How do we minister to the sexually broken? How would the church respond to the woman at the well or Gomer, wife of Hosea? How do we speak healing to the abused? How do we understand sexuality as a good gift of God? What's even more interesting is that our discussion of power, politics and even the Gospel have become centered around our issue of unknowing when it comes to sexuality. When's the main thing going to be the main thing? When can we preach a redeeming, healing, transforming, discerning Gospel that speaks grace and truth to all? That's what we need...Not unsigned letters.

Thanks...

2007-04-18T12:04:00.000-04:00

Thanks to all for your prayers for Luke...We received word that he was sent home from the hospital and the Dr's don't want to see him for another 30 days, so that's a huge praise! Please continue to pray for Stephanie, my sister-in-law, as she's not handling this stress, etc very well. Apparently she's had several breakdowns and just isn't doing well. Jonathan wants her to see a doctor, but she refuses...Please her in your prayers...

Really quick...

2007-04-12T15:10:00.000-04:00

I'm over my head in school work, church work, taxes and moving...I'm still trying to recover from a Holy Week which was to be my Reading Week in which I didn't read. This is the reason why I haven't blogged...Not because I don't want to, but simply because I find myself collapsing into bed at the end of the day.

Anyway, please pray for my new nephew, Luke Walter Ryall. Luke was born about a week ago, and was shortly thereafter transferred to a NICU with a brain hemorrage. My brother-in-law and sister-in-law are in Germany, as he is in the Army, so they are seperated from family and any sense of support system. We're praying for Luke's healing, as well as the work of God that might bring Jonathan and Stephanie into deeper relationship with God. Our family (Beth's mom and dad, sisters, etc) would covet your prayers for Jonathan, Stephanie and Luke over the next couple days.

My Visitation

2007-03-08T20:45:00.000-05:00

Tonight I did visitation...Youth Ministry visitation. What does visitation look like for a youth pastor? Tonight it looked like a Middle School band concert. Last week it looked like the East High musical. The week before that it was the East-West game. Every week it looks like a high school cafeteria. I do visitation...mine just looks like a concert.

Why? Because when I do visitation I meet new people. I meet students who are consistent in my group and I meet their friends. I meet parents. I see students who come to be youth ministry every once in a while and I remind them that I know their names and they matter to me. I see members and non-members. Visitation matters.

This weekend, I'll probably see many of the students I saw at band concert. Every week after visitation, I see more students. It's good stuff. It's good to be seen in the community and to see others. I like visitation...even Middle School band concerts.

By the way...We got a house! The church purchased a house and offered it to us as a parsonage! This means that we're going to move from our 14 x 34 cinder block apartment to a real house! It's a great old house that's been recently remodeled! We'll be living the upstairs which is probably 3x bigger than our apartment! Washer, dryer, etc etc...It'll be great for life, sanity, ministry...Thank you God!

Shuffle Up and...

2007-03-06T15:36:00.000-05:00

The first five songs that come up when I shuffle my iPod/iTunes...Just for fun...
1. Lead of Love-Caedmon's Call
2. What Would You Say-Dave Matthews Band
3. I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For-U2
4. How to Save a Life-The Fray
5. Prodigal-Casting Crowns

Just kind of fun...

Lord Have Mercy

2007-03-01T14:36:00.000-05:00

I walked to school today in the pouring down rain, the type of deep rain that soaks everything. Beth had the car, so I had to walk. It's not a long walk, but it's surprising how long a 7 minute walk can seem in a bone-drenching rain. By the time I was at the end of the street I had water dripping off my hair and eyebrows. My sweatshirt was soaked through, and I knew that I had a long way to go before I finally got inside. I kept hoping that someone I knew might see me walking to school and stop and pick me up, but it didn't happen, so I walked in the rain. As I walked, I kept singing the words to the Michael W Smith song "Lord Have Mercy." It's a song that we're teaching our Youth Group during Lent, and I find it particularly meaningful. The chorus is simple:

Lord have mercy
Christ have mercy
Lord have mercy on me
Lord have mercy
Christ have Mercy
Lord have mercy on me.

As the water started to run down my face and drip off my nose, I kept singing "Lord have mercy on me." As I sang and contemplated my wetness, I kept coming up with one phrase

"Lord have mercy. Wash me clean. Lord have mercy and wash me clean."

May the Lord have mercy on my selfishness. May the Lord have mercy on my power-hungry attitudes that often seem like I've got it all figured out. May the Lord have mercy on my ignorance of those who are hurting. May the Lord have mercy on my oppression of the poor and hurting. May the Lord have mercy on us all. May the waters of baptism and redemption flow off our heads like raindrops. May we be clean.

Sabbath...

2007-02-20T21:41:00.000-05:00

Over the last few days there has been an interesting conversation happening about time and days off and stuff (Chris and Greg both wrote great blogs about this!) but I haven't joined in the conversation until today. This afternoon in my Old Testament class we began to have a discussion about Sabbath. I admit, that while I need to start good habits of sabbath keeping while I'm in seminary, I don't. Beth forces me to take a day off each week from church, but unfortunately I have to do school work all day, so I rarely (if ever) take a full day off during the week. That's ok with me...I like my job, I love my students, I work with my wife and we find time to be together and hang out with our friends who are life-giving. So, when Dr. Richter began to discuss Sabbath I was interested, although a little frustrated, as lately the idea of Sabbath has become more of an inconvience because I've got stuff to do. Then Dr. Richter began to talk about Sabbath from the standpoint of an ancient Israelite. For generations, the people knew nothing over than slavery. They had been beaten and bruised and the only value that they had in society was what they could do. They had watched their sons killed, they had made bricks and more bricks and more bricks. Life was about survival, not thriving. If you made it to 40, you were lucky. And so, standing in the desert, God offers the people the best thing he can...rest. A day to just be who they are and be with God. Sabbath wasn't an inconvience...it was a life changing gift.

As we frantically tried to write this all down, suddenly Dr. Richter told us to stop and asked us to hear this quote. It spoke deeply to me and it might to you as well.
"Now, what is the meaning of the sabbath that was given to Israel? It relativizes the works of mankind, the contents of the six working days. It protects mankind from total absorption by the task of subduing the earth, it anticipates the distortion which makes work the sum and purpose of human life, and it informs mankind that he will not fulfill his humanity in his relation to the world which he is transforming but only when he raises his eyes above, in the blessed, holy hour of communion with the Creator. With this meaning it would be no exaggeration to state that the sabbath sums up the difference between the biblical and Marxist visions.
The essence of mankind is not work!"
Henri Blocher. (Emphasis mine.)

So, what does this say to us? What does it say to me amid by 12 hour Sundays and reading Mondays? The essence of life is not work, but communion with God. Sabbath wasn't an inconvience; it was (and IS) a gift!

May we never forget the blessings that our God gives...the blessing NOT to work! The blessing that we are more than what we can do...We are defined by our Sabbath...by our communion with God.

Lies and Statistics

2007-02-14T16:59:00.000-05:00

Peter Gammons (who I consider to be the best baseball writer EVER!!) writes a column for ESPN.com and has a section called "Lies, $#^% Lies, and Statistics." Every week he picks out the most misleading number of the week...Pitching Lines, Boxscores, etc and shows how they just don't fit. The more ministry I do, the more I realize how Gammons has it figured out. Numbers mean nothing. Seriously...numbers mean nothing, yet at the same time, many people think that they mean everything!! I'm still trying to figure this out...

I trace attendance at Youth Group every week, mainly to follow up with students who have missed several weeks in a row. I try not to put too much stock in these numbers, but it's often difficult. See, normally we see 50ish students on Sunday and 30ish students on Wednesdays. Although these numbers are solid, I'm not happy with our Wednesday night programming. We haven't been able to get into a groove on Wednesday nights. I believe that we need to turn Wednesdays into a night committed to discipleship (Bible Study, possibly Youth Disciple, Student Leadership Team meetings, etc), but I'm very well aware that when we do this, our numbers will bottom out. About two months ago we tried to go to Bible Studies on Wednesdays and our numbers bottomed out, so we're trying something new, although I feel like we're just biding time. So, we need a change. A change that'll hurt by average attendance numbers

So we'll change (slowly! I'll develop some cirriculum, get my adults on board, pitch the idea to my student leaders, etc) but it'll be hard. It'll be hard to explain to my SPRC and Ad Min Board why my numbers drop. It'll be tough for our SPRC Chair, who has spent her whole life in successful business, that what we're doing is NOT about numbers. It'll be tough to learn how to measure disciplehip. How do you do that anyway? I do we measure that which is a work of the Holy Spirit? How do we measure the way that students become more like Jesus? See, I don't think numbers will do it...

Lies, Lies and Statistics...

My Theological Worldview

2007-02-12T16:18:00.000-05:00

I copied this from Keith. I'm a little suprised that I scored more Emergent/Postmodern. In the past, I've scored high Wesleyan/Evangelical (which was still second)...I wonder if working with High School students has pushed me this way....

Hmm...

You scored as Emergent/Postmodern. You are Emergent/Postmodern in your theology. You feel alienated from older forms of church, you don't think they connect to modern culture very well. No one knows the whole truth about God, and we have much to learn from each other, and so learning takes place in dialogue. Evangelism should take place in relationships rather than through crusades and altar-calls. People are interested in spirituality and want to ask questions, so the church should help them to do this.

Emergent/Postmodern

86%

Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan

75%

Neo orthodox

71%

Reformed Evangelical

71%

Fundamentalist

46%

Charismatic/Pentecostal

43%

Classical Liberal

39%

Roman Catholic

36%

Modern Liberal

21%

What's your theological worldview?
created with QuizFarm.com

A New Ministry Perspective OR Litourgia

2007-02-03T01:11:00.000-05:00

Beth and I have two couples who have become some of our best friends. Adam and Diane are both teachers, and they're great at what they do. Bill is a pharmacist (anyone who has a Doctoral degree when they're 24 makes me sick) and Amanda works in the Insurance industry. In recent conversations with these friends, I've realized that they all desire to be in ministry, and they desire to know what it looks like them for at their jobs to do ministry, but very rarely do we discuss what it means to be a Christian pharmacist or a Christian 3rd grade teacher. So, here's my question...What would happen if I sat down with Adam and Diane and Bill and Amanda and asked this question "What can the church do to support you in your ministry at your workplace?" Frankly, I think that this question changes many things....
First, when we ask this question, we name the work of the Holy Spirit that we see at work in others. When we name the work of God in others we empower them to see their gifts and realize what God is doing in their lives...we help them realize that they have an important role and place in the life of the church.
Second, when we ask this question, we empower lay people. Suddenly, clergy aren't the only ministers...EVERYONE is a minister, everyone has a role and a place in establishing the Gospel story in the world. Responsibility no longer lies at the feet of clergy...It enhances and empowers the Priesthood of all believers!
Finally, asking a question like this shifts the vision and perspective of the church. Suddenly, our work becomes outward focused...we're not just focused on what happens inside our walls, but we're working in the world. Suddenly the world doesn't have to come through our doors; we send people into the world, into the places where they've been called and work. We realize that God is calling us to the world, not calling the world to us.

I wonder what answers would be...maybe they wouldn't change anything, but maybe we would. I think that one of the most important things, though, is that we send people, empowered to do the litourgia...the work of the people in the world.

Quick Question/Prayer Request

2007-01-31T22:38:00.000-05:00

Question...Anybody have an good teaching ideas about what it looks like to be a Christian? I'm realizing that many of my students pray and read their Bibles, but they don't realize that this makes a difference in the way they live. I want to do some teaching on how Jesus changes things, and I'm thinking about working through Mark...any ideas???

Prayer Request...We have a student who's causing us fits...We're going to confront her tomorrow...Please pray for God's grace in the situation...

Anger and Grace

2007-01-31T22:26:00.001-05:00

This past weekend we took almost 50 students to Winter Blitz, a Kentucky Annual Conference sponsored event in Louisville. While the conference was not as good as I hoped (I'm fairly critical of things...I work hard to do my job well, and I expect the same of others), we had a good weekend with our students, until Saturday night. Throughout the day on Saturday, students showed extreme disrespect towards the leaders and towards each other. By the time Saturday rolled around I was tired and fairly annoyed with my students. Then, I found out that 14 students had been hanging out in the upstairs of church (something that the church had specifically asked us not to do). I was livid, and at 1:30 in the morning the students saw my wrath. For the first time, students saw angry Matt. I read them the riot act and sent them to bed. That night, our adult leadership team sat around and tried to think about what the appropriate response was. See, the issue wasn't that students went upstairs...it was a culmination of disrespect that I had experienced all day...Finally, around 4 AM we came up with a plan...

The next morning I announced new bus lists. On the church bus with Beth and I were the 14 offenders. You can imagine their faces when we announced that they would be with us. When we arrived at the Convention Center, I turned around and Beth and I began to talk to the students. We talked about how disappointed we were, and how we expected them to behave better because they were our leaders. We told them that we loved them and that we were hurt by their blatant disobedience. And then we let them talk...they apologized and they began to get it. We were angry, but then we got to offer grace...

It's fun to offer grace and forgiveness. It's amazing how offering grace can transform students (when we arrived home, students jumped to help with EVERYTHING!!). It's amazing how much it helps to call students on the carpet and then offer from forgiveness...It was good stuff, and although I didn't get much sleep on Saturday night, I'm glad it happened. I got to offer forgiveness and grace and that made all the difference...hopefully I can do that with EVERYONE I meet...

Anger and Grace

2007-01-31T22:26:00.000-05:00

Apparently I look like Tom Brady...Sweet

2007-01-30T21:59:00.000-05:00

Cigarette Smoke in the church

2007-01-30T21:41:00.000-05:00

On Tuesday nights when I go to Disciple, our church smells like cigarette smoke. Why? Because on Tuesday nights our church hosts the local AA group and the room down the hall is filled with people who never set foot in the church otherwise. I love the fact that our church smells like cigarette smoke on Tuesday nights, but at the same time it bothers me. Why does the church only smell like smoke on Tuesdays? Why not Wednesdays? Or *gasp* Sunday morning? See, here's what gets me...all week long our church is used by a variety of community groups...AA, a quilting group, a ESL group, but as all these groups make their way through our building, we do very little to engage them. They use our space, and we're proud of ourself that we let some outside people in the building, but we don't do anything show them anything of the people and the spirit that makes NUMC what it is. What would it look like to run Celebrate/Recovery through our building? What would it look like for my friend Adam who is a teacher and a fluent Spanish speaker to help teach many of the immigrants English and offer them Jesus? What would it look like for us to run Angel Food through our building and offer low cost, high quality food to people in the area? Why don't we smell like smoke all the time??

I bet Jesus smelled like smoke, because Jesus hung out with some smoky people....I sure hope that we do, too...That Jesus will call us to a new level of smokiness that drives our custodian crazy...

Battered

2006-10-11T15:40:00.000-04:00

On Saturday I attended a seminar at Louisville Presbyterian Theological Seminary called "Growing Souls: A Contemplative Approach to Youth Ministry." It was an excellent conference, and I feel as if I was predestined to be there (Oh...must be the Presbies got to me more than I realized!). Mark Yaconelli led us through several contemplative exercises including lectio divina. Our lectio exercisee was centered around Matthew 14:22-27 where Jesus walks on water in the midst of the storm and the disciples believe him to be a ghost. Part of the lectio exercise asks the participant to pick out a word or phrase that really sticks out. As we went through the exercise, I kept coming back to the word "battered."

Battered. I feel battered. School is kicking up (mid-terms are just around the corner), things at church are painful, although positive, and I feel battered. As I prayed through the word, I ended up saying over and over again "I need to know you're not a ghost. I need to know you're not a ghost." On Saturday and Sunday, that became my prayer. I need to know that you're not a ghost.

Sunday rolled around with all of its' fury. Church, lunch, planning, youth group. Youth group was ending, and in walked an ex-youth member who has been causing us a lot of problems. We had a confrontation with him earlier, asking him to step back from the group or follow our guidelines. It was an extremely painful conversation and I wasn't quite sure how it would end up. The student approached me and the difference from one week to another was overwhelming. With great humility he stated that he had realized that it was time for him to move on and he wanted an opportunity to say good-bye. After the previous meeting, this was nothing other than a movement of the Holy Spirit. Instead of causing a painful rift within the group, he was moving on with grace and maturity and the Holy Spirit was obviously the source of the reconciliation. I need to know you're not a ghost, eh?

Later that evening I spoke to one of our student leaders who has been embroiled in a conflict with another student leader. That evening, he had sought reconciliation and renewal with that student and God had been at work healing the rift that existed between them in miraculous ways. Another sign of the incredible reconciliation available through the Holy Spirit.

I KNOW that you're not a ghost. I still feel battered and tired, but I hear that voice say "Do not fear. It's me. I'm not a ghost." Thanks be to God.

Be Still

2006-10-04T15:16:00.000-04:00

This is a short paper I wrote for my Speech class, using the "20 Principles of Good Writing." Although I've blogged about this experience before, I decided to post it again with a postscript. Last week Beth was speaking to a girl in the group who was with us on the trip and she said to Beth "I knew that Jesus died for me, but I think that night in Mississippi was the first time that I've ever given my life to Christ." Thanks be to God for God's work among us!!

This summer I had an experience that altered my understanding of ministry forever. After a hard week of work on the Gulf Coast, I gathered with a group of high school students on the beach for an evening of worship and Communion. In the days leading up to our service, I thought about what I might say to my students to help bring closure to our week, yet as I prayed, I felt led to prepare nothing. As we walked down to the beach, I continued to ask God for words and wisdom, yet I heard God saying “Be still and know that I AM God. I will be exalted.”
As we arrived at the beach I encouraged the students to take a moment and see the stars and dangle their feet into the water. Dusk was fading into darkness and we admired the brilliant colors of the sunset. I listened to the students talk and laugh, continuing to deepen the relationships that they had begun to develop throughout the week.
After a few minutes I brought the students together and asked a “How have you seen God this week?” As we sat on a deserted, devastated beach in Mississippi, students began to name the ways they had seen God move. They spoke of how they had seen God through others, how they had seen God in the middle of utter destruction. They spoke of seeing God in work and play. The more we talked together, the more we realized that God had been changing us and shaping us into people with hearts for others. We had seen Jesus in the faces of those we had served all week long.
Together, we began to sing. As the music faded, I read from I Corinthians 11 and invited the students to meet God in the sacrament. I gave students space to take time with God before coming to receive communion, and I expected that students might wait a minute or two before stepping forward. I stood amazed as I watched all of my students spread out across the beach, falling on their knees before the Almighty King. The Holy Spirit reigned down on my students and they were overwhelmed by the presence of God that was at work in their lives. As they began to come they did so with tears in their eyes. As I offered them the bread and juice, I realized something powerful that has left me changed. The work of God has nothing to do with me. The amount of time I spend in preparation or the words that I so carefully craft cannot even compare with a moment in which God moves. My role as a minister of the Gospel is not to force people to encounter God; rather my role is to create a space in which God is allowed to speak. My life and the lives of my students have not been the same since.

Asbury Theological Seminary Petition: Petition to the Board of Trustees of Asbury Theological Seminary in support of President Jeff Greenway

2006-10-03T22:28:00.000-04:00

Asbury Theological Seminary Petition: Petition to the Board of Trustees of Asbury Theological Seminary in support of President Jeff Greenway

Just a note to those who read my blog and wish to support Dr. Jeff Greenway in his role as President of Asbury Theological Seminary. The situation continues to be tense, but I would encourage you to visit this site and show your support for our friend. If you'd like more info about what I know that's happening, let me know.
Thanks for your continued prayers for Jeff and the entire seminary community as we attempt to make sense of the situation.

A Little Baseball

2006-10-01T14:24:00.000-04:00

I am a diehard Western PA sports fan. I love the Pirates and the Steelers, and recently, I've been talking ridiculous amounts of trash to the many students in our youth ministry who are Bengal fans (ouch...it's been a rough week)! But, while football is just getting started, baseball is winding down, and minus the race in the NL Central (Go Astros!), the regular season has just about come to the end. With that in mind, I'd like to offer some deep and meaningful insight about the Swashbucklers of the Allegheny...the Pittsburgh Pirates. A breakdown of position by position...

C-Ronny Paulino...Paulino came on strong and was a thankful addition to the line-up, especially as I'm not terribly crazy about Humberto Cota. I think that Ryan Doumit could be a valuable player off the bench, but I think that Paulino is the catcher of the future. Strong arm, handles the pitchers well, hits for average and has a little pop...Like a Paul LoDuca except better behind the plate with a little more power. I think that we're good.

1B-I'm still not sure that I think that Xavier Nady is the answer...In fact, I think that Brad Eldred could be starting at first next season. Eldred is a horse...although he was hurt most of this season. Last season he hit 12 HR in 190 AB's. I'm just hoping that he not the next Rob Deer!! Anyway, I think that Nady might fit elsewhere...

2B-Jose Castillo showed a little pop early this season (12 HR's by June) but fizzled out pretty quickly (14 HR total!). I think that he's a good player...good glove, excellent at turning the doubleplay and worth keeping. We don't really have anyone in the minor league system who makes sense here, and Jose is just going to get better.

SS-Here's a change that we should make...Although Jack Wilson has an incredible glove, I think that he's at the poin that we're paying him too much! I like Jumpin Jack Flash...but just not that much. Time to trade him for something and then move the suprise of the season (Freddy Sanchez) to Short...Original position time. Sweet.

3B-Freddy Sanchez is maybe one of the better trades that the Pirates have made in recent years. Sanchez for Jeff Suppan from Boston a couple years ago. That's definately worked to our favor. Anyone who wins the batting title can stay in Pittsburgh, but again I think that he should play short. This would leave 3B open for Jose Baustista who has showed that he can hit for some pop, too...He just needs to up that .232 average, but I really think that he's the real deal.

So, with my way, our Infield would be Paulino, Eldred, Castillo, Sanchez and Bautista.

LF-J.Bay... .286 BA, 35 HR, 109 RBI's, 100 R, 11 SB...Cornerstone. Enough said.

CF-Chris Duffy-Seriously, I think that Duffy can hit leadoff. He's come on in the second half and he can run and play a decent CF, but let's face it...He's really just holding the place for Andrew McCutchen, the best overall Pirate player since B. Bonds. I saw McCutchen play for Hickory and the future is really bright in CF in 2008.

RF-Here's Nady's spot. Decent #6 hitter...not a bad return from the Mets for Roberto Hernandez, assuming that Oliver Perez continues to struggle. If Perez somehow harnasses his potential, then we'll look like fools, but I don't think that'll happen. Therefore, getting Nady for a 42 year old RP is a pretty good deal.

Starting Pitchers-Duke, Snell, Maholm, Gorzellanny are steller. Lefties galore, young arms who gained a year of experience and I fully expect Snell and Duke to explode next year. Gorzellany pitched well in the 2nd half and we'll be set. Add a crafty veteran or a young gun from the system (like Bryan Bullington or Sean Burnett) and the staff looks good. Seriously, they're the foundation and they look good. I'm particulary impressed with Snell, who I saw pitch in Altoona. He doesn't have great stuff, but he's a great athlete and he learned how to pitch this year. They look sound.

Relief Pitchers-Some good young pitchers...Gonzalez, Capps, Bayliss, possibly Brian Rogers. I like Mike Gonzalez (Here comes the BOOM!) and I think that he's the next Gagne without the ligament damage. Middle relife pitchers really aren't that big of a deal (see Moneyball).

So, after starting 30-60, Pittsburgh has a winning record in the second half. After investing money is worthless players (Meares, Burnitz, Randa, etc), I think that their on the right track. I was less than impressed with Littlefield's in-season trades (Shawn Chacon...are you kidding me?), but it wasn't too terrible. So, with all that in mind, I'm about to say something crazy.

The Pirates are next year's Tigers. Young pitching, adding a quality veteran, and allowing young bats to mature. I mean you can even see it with the All-Star game (Detroit hosted in 2005 and then won in 2006, Pittsburgh host in 2006, wins in 2007?). The young pitchers took their lumps (remember how Bonderman and Robertson got destroyed a couple years ago?) but they've come back and become dominant...I think that it's possible!
So...next year might be the year!

(that the Pirates finish .500!!). No more losing!!!

Healing

2006-09-28T22:04:00.001-04:00

Last week I sat through a class with Dr. Don Demaray. Dr. Don is 80 years old and about 40 years ago God gifted him with a gift of healing and a healing ministry. Although I have him for a speech class (which is ridiculously boring...I've learned things like I should use facial expressions or write out my speech when speaking in public...wow) he began to talk about healing. One of the other students had recently experienced healing from headaches, etc. and Dr. Don asked him to share his story. After Micah shared, we began to discuss healing, and I realized for the first time that I struggle with the issue of healing. After living with my Crohn's Disease for the past seven years and after praying for healing and having other people pray for my healing and not experience it, I realized that I struggle with the issue of healing. I believe in healing...I believe that God has the power to heal and frequently does so, but I struggle to know why God determines who gets healed and who doesn't. I'm NOT bitter...I'm just realize that talk of healing makes me uncomfortable and often makes me hurt, and frankly, I don't know what to do with that.

See, I know that Jesus Christ is transformational, revolutionary and absolutely power. I believe that the Holy Spirit moves and speaks and heals. I believe in a God that can completely change and perform miracles in the life of the world. So, in the midst of that, I'm not sure why God hasn't healed me. I know that I've learned much through my Crohn's, I know that my relationship with God has been transformed through my life with Crohn's, I know that I've developed my understanding of theodicy, and I know that I can speak deeply into the life of people in pain, but at the same time I wonder when I'll experience healing. I wonder how I can effectively pray for healing in the lives of others. See, healing is one of those areas that makes me uncomfortable, hurt and excited all at the same time.

Where do I go from this? I continue to wait for healing with a thankful heart for what I've already learned. I continue to wait for God to heal those I love. I continue to pray for healing for (spiritual, emotional, relational and physical) for my students (and Thanks be to God, I see it...God is mending broken kids and relationships in the NUMC Youth...Thanks be to God), and in the midst of that, I live into God's promise of healing, and I wait. God is powerful and sovereign and I am not. Thanks be to God.

Healing

2006-09-28T22:04:00.000-04:00

Disciple

2006-09-12T17:32:00.000-04:00

In just a little while, Beth and I will head off to our new Tuesday night activity...Disciple Bible Study. This is the first time that we've ever taken Disciple, and after just a week, I'm really really enjoying it and growing from it. I've come to the belief that Disciple is one of the great parts of Methodism that could be used by anyone from any denomination to grow in their Biblical knowledge and depth of relationship with Jesus Christ. I seriously believe that Church Historians in 100 years could point to Disciple as one of the highlights of this era. I know...I'm talking about big stuff but at the same time I'm realizing that Disciple has a tremendous impact on those willing to take it because of the Word of God has a tremendous impact when we attempt to truly encounter it. The Word of God truly is sharper than any two-edged sword and truly has the power and ability to transform lives.

So, here's the question...If the Word of God contains that much power and might, why do we not encounter it? I wonder if we live in fear of the Scripture, as we know that God can and does encounter us there. Do we avoid Biblical study, know what it might require of us? Do we avoid Biblical study because of control, because we're afraid that we might be asked to change adn relinquish ourselves to God? I dunno, but I know that I am being transformed by the Word, and it's scary and wonderful and exhilirating all at teh same time. Great, crazy, wild stuff.

Summer's over

2006-09-03T01:19:00.000-04:00

It's been a crazy summer, and I haven't blogged in two months, which is unfortunate since it's something that I very much enjoy. Currently it's 1:15 AM and when I wake up, it'll be Sunday morning. I should be asleep, for Sunday is the busiest (and bestest) day of my week, but unfortunately some Chinese food is prohibiting sleep, and since I happen to have internet access this weekend, I'll blog. Hopefully I won't miss as much time before the next writing occurs.

The past two months have been a tremendous time of learning and growing. Beth and I moved into our new "Hallment"-a unique combination of a hallway and an apartment. See, it's too big to be a hallway, but not quite big enough to be an apartment...somewhere inbetween. Other than the trains that scream by (about 30 feet away) and the lack of cat and personal laundry facilities, it's not that bad. Simplicity is something to work on and move towards...so we live in an apartment that's 14'x34'. We joke that it's almost too big for us and we should allow the hobos who ride the trains to live in the front room. We joke, and then we remember the people living on the Gulf Coast who still live in FEMA trailers and we stop joking. God is good, especially in our little hallment.

Things continue to fall into place in our new ministry venture. I'm learning to work with my wife...to mutually submit to one another's strengths and to constantly rejoice that God has not wired us identically. Someday we're going to write a book about working as a team, and the chapters will have catchy names like "Don't Send Your Wife to Wal-Mart", "When Matthew forgets all the important announcements-again" and "Telling your wife that crazy idea #948 really is impractical and somewhat far-fetched-A Case Study." Really catchy, huh? It's pretty incredible learning to work out of our strengths and allowing the other person to do the same. We connect with different kids, perform different tasks, have different roles and somehow we try to allow God to work through us to develop a Holy Spirit empowered youth ministry. In the midst of that I'm learning that I often work too much and pray too little, that I don't really understand at all the workings of God, that somedays I'm barely sure how to love Beth, let alone the numerous people (especially adults) who drive me batty, that I get caught up too easily in the tyranny of today and forget to think big picture and I hate newsletter deadlines. I'm learning to balance administration and relationship, I'm learning that I can preach really bad sermons that still have an impact (Thanks be to God), I'm learning that change comes slowly and painfully but God still asks us to do it and patience. Man, am I ever learning patience. Kids take a long time to get to know, and although I want to know them NOW and I want them to trust me NOW they don't...it's totally a work in progress, and I am often impatient. Bummer.

School starts on Tuesday. I'm as ready as I'm going to be, and that'll have to be good enough. Learning balance will take on a life of it's own, and that'll be OK although I'm nervous. I'll have to become much more disciplined with my hours and my life than I've been this summer and that's alright...just challenging.

Anyway, enough life lessons for tonight...tomorrow comes early...hopefully the Chinese will start to behave...That's the last thing I've learned this summer...I really LOVE Chinese food. A new development, and tonight, not a good one...Oh well...Live and learn.

Creating a space

2006-07-12T10:36:00.000-04:00

Over the last few weeks Beth and I have been slowly transitioning into our new roles as Co-Youth Directors at Nicholasville UMC. We love it. Seriously, this is maybe the best job I've ever had. I'm in awe of the kids, I love working closely with my wife, we're walking into a great set-up and we're learning big lessons. Probably the biggest thing that I've learned so far happened during our Mission trip with the Sr. High kids to Long Beach, MS. Prior to the trip, I've been reading Contemplative Youth Ministry by Mark Yaconelli. Yaconelli stresses the fact that in youth ministry we often get too caught up in ministry being about us and our ideas and our programs. He believes that we need to create a place for our youth to experience God. When I first read this I thought "Of course this makes sense! Youth ministry is not necessarily about programming and whatever...it's about God and the way that I show kids God." Unfortunately, the last part of the statement was my own, as I believed that I was somehow crucially necessary for kids to experience God. I thought that my preaching and planning and worship leading would change the way that kids get to know God. Then we went on our trip.

The trip wasn't mine to lead. Zac, the former youth minister, was leading the trip and we were along for the ride. Zac asked me to help one of the kids lead worship. I asked him about evening devotions and worship and he basically told me that we weren't going to have any kind of message...we were just going to talk about our days and sing together. I thought that this seemed a little crazy and insignificant, but it wasn't my trip to lead so I did as Zac asked. As the week went on, I began to encourage kids to sit in silence, thinking to myself that they were probably bored as they did it, but over and over again we would end the silence and kids would be in tears. On the last night, we headed to the beach for worship and communion. We sang together, read out of I Corinthians 11 and then invited the kids to be with God before they came to take the elements. When we said this I expected the kids to sit for about 30 seconds and then come for the elements. Instead, kids headed away to different parts of the beach and fell on the faces and knees before God for almost 30 minutes. Kids wept and talked quietly together and then came one by one to receive the elements and be prayed over. God moved in the kids lives and I had nothing to do about it. I simply created a space for God to be present in the busy-ness of our schedule and God came in powerful ways. As kids later shared with me about their time that night I heard stories about how they realized that they were truly taking part in the body and blood of Christ. I heard stories about how they learned that by service they meet Jesus. I heard stories of kids who realized that get too consumed with material stuff of the world and that they desperately want to follow Jesus. God came and I had nothing to do with it. I'm learning that my job as a youth minister is not to have great sermons and excellent programming...my job is to create a space for God both in my life and in the lives of my kids. God is bigger than me and God is plently big enough for my kids. Thanks be to God.

Quick thoughts

2006-07-11T12:28:00.000-04:00

I want to write a bunch...I'm just home from two fantastic mission trips with the good kids from NUMC. God moved and we were amazed, but more about that later.

A couple months ago I wrote a post about Panera bread and church. Yesterday, my aunt, who I love dearly left me a comment that ripped me up. She noted that many people who go to Panera or who spend Sunday mornings sitting on their porches know what they're missing, but they also know that they won't find it in a church. She stopped me in my tracks and made me realize again that we're not offering God in a way that transforms people. On top of that, I've been reading in Mark...this morning I was reading through Mark 5 where Jesus starts to drive out demons and heal women and raise people from the dead. Jesus is full of power and I believe that Jesus offers that same power today. Unfortunately, for some reason we think that we need to dress Jesus up in such a way that he becomes acceptable or pertinent to the people around us instead of just allowing the work of Jesus and the power of Jesus to stand by itself. We become so fake in our relationships with others and we become so power hungry in our relationship with the church that we limit the power of Jesus to transform lives in a powerful way. That's not the way that we should be at work. Jesus will heal our brokenness, transform our hurts, drive out our demons and renew us if we'd only let him. Churches need to get back to Jesus-centered programming rather than us-centered programming that we think might work, because frankly, it's not about us.

Annual Conference, Part Two

2006-06-20T12:57:00.000-04:00

I'm coming down off my Conference high while spending some time with my wife's side of the family in Baltimore, MD. It's been a good couple days, but I have to try to avoid starting every other sentence with the words "Oh, so at Conference...". You see, my father-in-law is a Baptist pastor in a Baptist denomination that has no idea what it means to be connected to something. I once asked him what kind of Baptist he is and he really wasn't sure. He used to belong to some sort of Association, but he doesn't think that he does anymore. My sister-in-law and her husband belong to an independant, young adult-ish church here in Baltimore that doesn't really pretend to be connected to anything else. Needless to say, they don't quite get Conference and when I talk about it around them, I get looks like I'm growing antennas. They try to understand, and they know that it's important to me, but they really don't know why.

Here's the problem...there are many Methodists who don't get Conference. Many of lay people have no clue why their pastor leaves for a weekend in June. Even the lay people who attend Conference don't always get it. I had one lady say to me this weekend "I'm not really sure what's going on." In fact, many lay people in our local churches see the Conference as their enemy. While we were in Hyndman, there were church members who had no idea what the Conference was, only that someone had told them that the Conference could stroll in and shut down there church whenever they might so choose. One of the churches where I did pulpit supply had members who spoke with their voice full of venom when they spoke about the Conference, especially when the decision was made to close down the church (A good decision, might I add. The church was 20 miles from civilization, had about 10 regular attenders who drove past a vibrant UM congregation to get to their dying one and they were getting to the point where they were paying so much for building upkeep that they couldn't keep up with any other bills. A no-brainer in my book, but they sure didn't think so!). My concern is that this lack of understanding stems from a lack of importance that clergy place on Conference. I know that there are clergy who attend as little of Conference as possible, and who dream of the day when they don't have to show up anymore. There are many clergy who find Conference to be a waste of time. There are many soon-to-be clergy who don't get Conference, either. Last semester,after my UM Polity final, I had a guy walk up to me and say "So, I know that Conference is important, but I really don't get it. Why does Conference matter that much? How does it affect local churches? Why should I care?" I've been thinking about that question ever since, and throughout last week I tried to think of an answer.

Last weekend, Conference truly was a means of grace in my life. I was able to spend time with my Dad and with my good friend Erik who is a student at Candler. Together, we dreamed about the day that we would come back to the Conference as clergy and we talked about the ways that we saw God at work in the Conference and how we might be called to be a part of God's work. I worshipped with the Hot Metal Bridge folks until tears were streaming down my face. I realized that not all "Contemporary" worship is the same (more on this later). I was inspired by the leadership of our Bishop and by the preaching of Bishop Fisher. And I legislated. As I stood up to deal with Special Sundays in my legislative section, I was reminded that God's Kingdom is big...big enough that we have Sundays for youth, people with disabilities, camping, rural life, children's ministries, and social outreach. When our local churches band together to support these Sundays, our impact across Western PA is expanded and God's Kingdom is furthered. That's what I really was reminded of at Conference...God's Kingdom is found in many places and God's Kingdom is at work through the work of many people...in Ambridge, at the Hot Metal Bridge Faith Community, in Hyndman, in Erie, in Pittsburgh, in Louisiana and Mississippi. God's Kingdom is here on earth, and Annual Conference showed me the many ways that we are called to be a part of that. See, Conference matters because when we gather as God's people to worship, to fellowship, and yes, even to legislate, we have the opportunity to be witnesses to the Kingdom of God and the work of God in the world. We have to opportunity to discern what God is doing and how we might be a part of that. CONFERENCE MATTERS!! Hopefully, we can show that when we get home to our local churches throughout the Connection.

Annual Conference, Part One

2006-06-19T12:40:00.000-04:00

As I headed home from Annual Conference yesterday, I was exhausted. Conference always seems to have so many people that I need to catch up with and some many other new people to meet and greet on top of the "business" that needs to be done that I never seem to go to bed when I should. As I drove to meet Beth at her sister's house, I attempted to think about and process the weekend. There are too many thoughts for one blog post, so I'll spread them out over a couple of days.

First, I was certified as a Candidate for ministry this week. This was a very exciting step in the process for me, as it means that I get to continue on and that the Committee sees that I have things to offer to the Western PA Conference. Thinking about being Certified made me excited, but it also made me a little jumpy. When I would tell people that I still have three years left of school, it seemed like a very long time, while I know that those three years will fly by. I know that I have much to learn and many ways in which I need to grow (and that will take me more than three years!) but at the same time I'm so excited to come back and begin that stage of ministry that it makes me relatively impatient. Nonetheless, that was an exciting event in my continued journey.

When I arrived at my sister-in-law's yesterday, my Baptist pastor father-in-law asked me if we did anything important. I mentioned the Strategic Plan and attempted to explain it the best I could, but I think that he was confused. Honestly, I was conflicted about the Plan at Conference. I'm sure that our Conference needs a direction and a vision, and I agree wholeheartedly with the vision, mission and core value of the plan, but after that I got a little conflicted. I felt that it was difficult to deal with the plan when we weren't dealing with Appendix D which laid out the specifics of the plan. For example, I wasn't all too keen on the idea of hiring a PR firm to recruit clergy back to Western PA. For one thing, I don't want clergy who are recruited, I want clergy who are called. Too many people are recruited into ministry and are not called to it, and I think that this is a major issue. More than that, I wasn't quite sure what good it will do to have a PR make up a glossy brochure to send to colleges, seminaries and job fairs. A glossy brochure won't entice me to come back to Western PA, and while I realize that we're at a distinct disadvantage economically (I know this because representatives from other conferences have mentioned that I might think about a place like North Georgia or Florida where the minimum salary is almost more than $10,000 more than it is in Western PA), but I don't think that a PR firm is going to help us overcome our economic disadvantage. If I'm going to come back to Western PA (which I'm 99% sure that I am...I'm leaving the door open for God to call me elsewhere, but that's not been God's call at this point...so far, God is calling me strongly back home), I'm going to come back because I believe in the direction of the Conference, because I believe in the leadership in place in the Conference, because I know that my home church cares about me, because I know that my District Committee and my DS is concerned about me and thinks about me. I won't come back to Western PA because of a PR firm...I'll come back because of relationships...relationships with clergy and laity. After all, as one of profs says, Ministry is about relationships. Maybe we should take the $25,000 we'll pay a PR firm and invest it in Camping, a place where so many young people feel their call to ministry. This is just one of the areas that I'm conflicted about when concerning the strategic plan. Hopefully we'll continue to refine and discern what God is doing in our Conference and that will continue to become our strategic plan.

2006-05-27T15:32:00.000-04:00

"And they left rejoicing because they had been considered worthy to suffer for the sake of the Name." Acts 5:41

Over the last few weeks, our Sunday School class has been working through Acts. It's been a really interesting study, especially when Dan, our teacher and a professor at Asbury College, can relate everything to G.K. Chesterton and Shakespeare. As I read this verse, found in the context of Peter and John suffering for the Gospel, it struck me, although I didn't know why at the time. Shortly after we read this, Beth and I learned that we have to move from the house that we've been living to a small, rundown, seminary apartment that's about the same size as a hallway. We have to give up our beloved cat, McPheeters, sell our washer and dryer, downsize our stuff significantly and shake up the life we've been living. Why? Because we got a new job...no longer will I be the Groundskeeper at Rose Hill, but we're the new Directors of Youth Ministry at Nicholasville UMC. I've really struggled thinking about moving...it's not what I had expected and it's not what I was hoping for. I've become very satisfied and very comfortable where we are, and I really don't want to give up our cat. But the more the situation has unfolded, the more that I'm assured that we're doing the right thing by taking our job at NUMC. The group is poised to grow, not only numerically, but more importantly, as disciples of Jesus. We know of at least three or four kids who are beginning to discern a full-time call to ministry. We see the group growing in leaps and bounds, and as we prepare to give leadership through the power of the Holy Spirit to these young people, we're being attacked. As I've struggled with moving, I'm reminded of the apostles who had to give up more than their cat for the sake of the Gospel, and they rejoiced because they were considered worthy to suffer. We believe that God wants to move in the lives of our youth, and this is the way that Satan attempts to bring us down. For now, we covet your prayers and we rejoice because, in some small way, we've been considered worthy to suffer for the Name. Thanks be to God.

Panera wanderings

2006-05-16T09:20:00.000-04:00

Every Sunday morning, Beth and I arise and head to Panera bread before we head off to the busyness that Sundays are becoming in our house, with worship practice, Sunday School, leading worship, youth group and our small group. (If it's this busy this spring, I don't what I'm going to do when the Steelers play in the Fall...we might have to think about having youth some time other than Sunday afternoon/evenings!!). Anyway, we use an hour or so on Sunday mornings to catch up, talk about our joint readings, really listen and hear what's going on in each other's lives and drink coffee. Lots of coffee. This way, by the time we get to church, we're ready to roll, both because we're hopped up on caffeine and because we've been reminded how much we love each other. Last Sunday was no exception, but as we headed out of Panera around 9 AM, I realized something that I've never noticed before: There were a LOT of people in Panera, and unlike us, they weren't heading out the door on their way to worship. In fact, many of these heathen were simply drinking coffee, surfing the Internet, reading the comics, etc. Many of them had no idea that they were pagans.

Alright, I don't really think that people who sit in Panera Bread on Sunday mornings are pagans or heathen. In fact, as we left my heart broke for the people who were left in Panera because they didn't know what they were missing. As we headed off to worship the Almighty God, to fellowship with other believers, to be encouraged and strengthed and challenged by the Word of God, many people sat by themselves in Panera and had no idea that what they were missing. I wonder why people show up to Panera by themselves on Sunday morning. Do they realize that they need fellowship and connection with others, but the best place that they can find it is sitting in a busy coffee shop? Have they been hurt by the institutional church in such a way that they'll never go back? Has the church promoted religion without power so that they don't even realize that their missing something? Have we offered people a watered down version of Christianity that means little, so little that people would rather hang out in Panera than encounter the God we pander?

I believe that a true, life changing encounter with God shakes people's worlds. I believe that when we understand God in the presence of ecclesia we are not the same. But many churches don't offer a life-changing encounter with God. Many churches don't know how to welcome new people into true fellowship. Many churches offer religion without freedom from sin and bondage. Many churches offer cheap grace that means little. Many churches have failed those people who sit in Panera on Sunday mornings because we have failed to remember that our programs are not God-instead they should be the witness of the power of God in the world. Too many of our churches have become a shadow of what they could be because we've forgotten to work with the empowerment of the Holy Spirit, somehow thinking that we in ourselves have enough to offer. We've become a "dead sect," having the "form of religion without the power." And because of that, people sit in Panera bread on Sunday mornings not knowing what they're missing.

We can offer God. We can offer transformation through the power of the Holy Spirit. We can offer life-changing, situation-changing, sin-breaking, freeing power that comes through Jesus Christ. We can offer koinonia, true fellowship. We, as the people who bear the name of Christ, can offer something that would shake people from their coffee-loving, bagel eating seats. Too often, though, we're happy just to do our thing and forget about the people at Panera. Bishop Scott Jones says that our churches are ready to do evangelism-if the 1950's ever roll around again. We need to remember the people who need Jesus. We need to take seriously the call to make Disciples to all ends of the earth, even Panera. We need to believe that, because of Jesus, we have something to offer, and we need to live that out in our worship, our fellowship and our preaching. Let's shake people out of coffee-shops and cafes on Sunday mornings and show them something that can get them going, even more than outrageous amounts of caffeine-true encounter with God.

I don't believe in Social Justice

2006-05-10T11:08:00.000-04:00

I have come to the conclusion that I don't believe in Social Justice in the church. Social Justice is fine for groups like the Kiwanas or the Rotary Club, but I don't think that it should have any place or power in the church. Now that I've got your attention, let me explain.

I believe in Social Gospel. I believe in the power of the Word of God to transform lives and communities. As I go on to Sanctification, I become more steeped in the Gospel of Jesus Christ, more empowered by the Holy Spirit to live it out, more on fire to see that all the world understand the life-changing, transformational power of the Gospel. I believe that the Gospel is a wholistic gospel, ministering to all the needs that human kind experiences. Thus, as I attempt to live out the Gospel I attempt to claim and proclaim the work of God in my life. I attempt to give testimony to the work of the Holy Spirit. I also attempt to model the example given to us by Christ-one of self-giving love that speaks to and ministers to the physical, emotional and spiritual needs of people. In this sense, I attempt to reach out to the downtrodden, minister to the oppressed, speak up for the voiceless, cry out for reconciliation, but I do all of this in the name of Jesus, while I proclaim and give testimony to the work of Jesus Christ on the cross and the way that I have been made new and transformed. I believe that a perfect blend of this is found in the end of Acts 4, as the disciples meet the needs of the needy and reach out to heal those around them, but at the same time we notice that they give testimony to the resurrection of Jesus Christ. Social Gospel is powered by the work of Christ. It is renewed and given life by the work of Christ. It brings about societal change in real and tangible ways, but also gives voice to the message of Christ crucified and resurrected. That's where social justice misses the boat.

Social Justice often fails to mention Christ. During the first year that we were married, Beth worked at a United Methodist's Children's Home and recently she applied for a job with a Presbyterian social work agency. In both cases, these faith-funded organizations told her than if kids want to go to Sunday School, they can or if kids push her about her faith in Christ, she can share it, but she needs to be really careful not to publicize her faith too much. In both cases, these organizations were social agencies connected to a church, receiving funding from a church, reaching out to the least of society. In both cases, Jesus wasn't really invited or allowed. In both cases, Beth realized that the only thing that could truly transform the lives of the kids that she came in contact with was hope and future and the new life found only through life lived with Christ. She could teach all the lifeskills she wanted, she could teach kids how to manage anger and hurt, she could attempt to help kids heal from brokenness and abuse, but the only thing that would cut it, the only thing that would truly transform and renew her kids was the radical love of Jesus.

Social Justice attempts to work for temporary change for the sake of justice. Social Gospel attempts to work for long-term, eternal change in individuals and in society for the sake of God. For God's sake, let's get to work.

A week behind

2006-05-09T14:26:00.000-04:00

I'm about a week behind the hoopla of the Judicial Council meeting, but I thought that I'd write a quick post about it anyway. Seminary makes me a week behind. That's just the way it is. I'm lucky that I'm not a week behind in my work!!

I'm beginning to wonder about the long-term ramifications about Decisions 1031 and 1032, and conversly, 1041 and 1042, in which the J-Council decided not to reconsider their previous decisions. I agree with the J-Council and I think that they got it right the first time. I don't think that the decisions were necessarily about homosexuality, instead focusing on a lack of due process given Rev. Johnson, thus violating his constitutional rights (1031) and the interpretation of who has the power to determine membership-thus, are we born into membership as a right or is it something that can be given and taken away. I think that stating that we are born or baptized into membership seems a little baptismal regenerationish to me and I'm not really comfortable with that. In fact, several wars and theological debates raged during the Reformation to finally state that you are not necessarily born into the church; instead you chose the church and the church accepts you based on standards of lifestyle that the church deems acceptable. (At this point, I should discuss my understanding of a Wesleyan view of salvation and sanctification, but I don't feel like I have that much time or space right now, but it is importantto memebership. Maybe I'll write about that later.) With this in mind, part of Decision 1032 was about homosexuality, and the pastor's right to determine who should be allowed into membership, but I think that most of 1032 was allowing the pastor to have final say on membership, and I think that this is a pastor's responsibility. But I don't want to debate 1031 and 1032...I just wanted to give some background on where I'm coming from.

Here's the question-What's going to happen at GC 2008? My hunch is that the liberal side of the church will bring legislation forward to change the way we deal with church membership. My hunch is that it will fail. Thus, based on 1031 and 1032, I think that we'll begin to talk about amicable seperation. I don't know how I feel about seperation. I hate the idea of the church dividing over anything. I think that we spoil our Christian witness to the world when we realize that we can't get along. I think that we destroy conversation, dialogue and the ability to learn and grow from each other's experience when we seperate. I don't think that any social issue, including homosexuality is worth splitting over. If we were to do so, we would not be true to the Biblical mandate to be, to think, to love with the mind of Christ Jesus. In fact, I believe that the only thing that brings church unity is an understanding of the work of Christ in and through us and how we will respond to the mandates and mission given by Christ through the witness of Scripture.

But here's the catch...I don't think that the issue that the church has been debating since 1976 is really the issue of homosexuality. I think that the main issue is our understanding of the authority of Scripture, and based on our understanding of Scripture, the Divinity of Jesus. I think that the issue of homosexuality is the way that we're playing out our ideas of Scripture and our Christology. Naturally, I think that we would have to work out how we minister to and with homosexuals, but I think that the main issue here isn't homosexuality, but how we decide to hold the importance of Scripture. With this in mind, I'm not necessarily against the idea of amicable seperation, because Scripture and Christology matter, and the matter a bunch. Scripture and Christology sets us apart as being a church, rather than being a cult, so if the real fight is about Scripture, we have to begin to rethink if we're really a church that is unified by the Presence and work of Christ.

Conference Junkie

2006-05-02T22:07:00.000-04:00

Over the last semester I've taken UM Polity and Discipline. I throughly enjoy United Methodist polity. I'm somewhat of a Conference nerd. Ok, I'll be honest...I'm totally a Conference nerd. It's what I do. I get so excited the night before Conference that I can't sleep. I planned my wedding around Conference so that I wouldn't have to miss Conference to be at my wedding. (FYI-I told Beth that I was willing to miss Conference this one time, but if we ever wanted to be together on our Anniversary, we should really rethink our plans). I almost skipped my high school graduation for Conference, but my Mom made me come home. I got home from Conference, graduated and drove back to Conference. Why do I love Conference so much? I love to see people and sing "And Are We Yet Alive" and deal with issues facing the church and see more people and talk about things and hear new ministry ideas and see more people (Can you tell that I'm an extrovert? I am!). Anyway, Polity was an enjoyable class because I got to think about all my experiences and Conferences and dream about more Conferences and whatnot. Yesterday was our Final, and I think that it had become evident to most of the class that I had some Conference experience, especially on the General level, so this morning I was approached by two different people at different times asking the same question..."Why does Conference (especially the General Conference) really matter? What has the General Conference ever done to help the local church?"

This was a tough question to answer, as I realize that most of what we do at General Conference has very little impact on the local church, and I readily admitted this to my classmates. In fact, I believe that one of the major issues at the General level (Conference, Boards and agencies, etc) is that we've forgotten what it looks like to be in a local church, especially in the small local church. Most of the lay delegates are unordained, full-time church staff who can take off two weeks of work to be at Conference. Many other lay delegates come from the big congregations in Conferences. To be elected to the General Conference on the clergy side of the board means that you've achieved enough and been around long enough to be recognizable. Normally this recognition means that you're in a big church or you're a college president or a district superintendent. While I realize that it's not true across the board (my friend and mentor is someone who remembers the Local Church and he models this well for me and for others), many people, clergy and laity, forget about the Local Church when we get to General Conference. We think that we're changing the world when we vote through a resolution that is to be sent to the US government. We think that we're dealing with deep and important issues when we hotly debate how many people from each jurisdiction should be represented on General agencies and how we should strongly recommend a particular policy to our UM colleges and universities. We think that everything we does is the end of the world, but often we forget the Local Church. We forget the pastors who have been in the Conference for 20 years, working for a little above minimum who must somehow interpret our decisions to the three people in their congregation who are paying attention to the decisions of the General Conference. We forget that passing a budget means going back to our churches and getting them to hoist their fair share. Sometimes we forget about the Local Church congregations.

But, at the same time, I see the General Conference as an integral part of UM Polity. Somehow we've got to set the structure and the framework for the Church as a whole. Somehow we've got to establish the way that Church Property is held and how Clergy and Laity are to be held accountable and what it means to be ordained as a deacon or elder. Somehow we've got to know that our money together can do more than our monies seperate. Somehow we've got to maintain a doctrine and a Disicipline and a way of life together. The General Conference establishes our Covenant of Life together as the people called Methodists. Too often it's politicized and built up and divisive, but when it comes down to it, we've got to know what it means to live as a United Methodist in a fallen world, and this then determines how the Local Churches carry out the mission of the Church, to make Disciples of Jesus Christ.

Finally, I don't think that we should write off Conference because it truly is a place where we experience a means of grace. Conference is a place to worship, to hear the Word proclaimed, to expand our relationships and grow our friendships. Conference is a place where God speaks. I heard my call into ordained ministry at Annual Conference, and I believe, that despite all of the challenges that the Conference (Annual or General) faces in the politicized scheme of things, God moves and works at Conference if we're watching. I believe that going to Annual Conference can change the way that we do ministry in our local churches, and I eagerly await the movement of the Holy Spirit at the next conference I attend. I'm so excited that I can't sleep.

Appointment Watching

2006-04-27T22:12:00.000-04:00

It's a busy season. Although Holy Week has passed and clergy breathe a collective sigh of relief, Finals season approaches and Seminary students cringe. I'm currently in the home stretch, and I'm cringing. The end is in sight, but until it gets here my blogging time is limited, although my ideas become endless. Here are my current thoughts.

I've always been an appointment watcher. Growing up in a parsonage I would always cringe when I came home to hear my father talking to the District Superintendent in the Spring. Nine times out of ten, they were just chatting, but it always made me nervous. Growing up in a parsonage made me an appointment watcher. It was always fun to see who was going where...Where my friends were moving to, who was coming to the churches where we had been, feeling sorry for all the other pastor's kids who had to move. I've been an appointment watcher.

As I started to attend Annual Conference, my appointment watching changed. I learned who were the movers and shakers in the Conference. I learned about the appointments that were coveted above all else. I learned why the reading of the appointments is such a big deal. I'm still an appointment watcher. About every two weeks I log onto the Conference website to see who's going where, although my watching isn't as innocent as it was when I was a kid. Now I read and think things like "Good for them! That's a great appointment!" or "Wow...I hope the Bishop sees something in them that I don't!" or "That's the appointment that I want when I leave seminary" or even "I know them. There is no way that they deserve that appointment!". See, many times I think that we watch appointments out of jealously. We think that someone hasn't necessarily earned their new appointment. We wonder how a left-leaning liberal such as so and so could end up with a church like that. We wonder if someone from that no good, Evangelical seminary can make it in the city. We wonder why we didn't get that appointment, and why we're still living in East Podunk. We see people playing the system, playing the politics and we're upset at their seeming conceit.

Appointment watching can be dangerous. It breeds contempt among clergy and clergy families and makes us jealous or leery of others. As I read through Philippians last week, I realized that Paul dealt with Appointment season. As he writes the Philippians in 1:17 he speaks of those who preach the Gospel from envy and strife, saying that they proclaim Christ out of selfish ambition, but then Paul makes a stunning statement "What does it matter? Just this, that Christ is preached in every way, whether out of false motives or true, and in that I rejoice." (Philippians 1:18, NRSV). It doesn't matter to Paul who goes where while he's stuck in prison. It doesn't matter to Paul that he may not like a certain person. It doesn't matter to Paul why Christ is preached or even how Christ is preached. It only matters to Paul that Christ is preached and that God, through the work of the Holy Spirit, speaks into the hearts of hearers.

Where do we go from here? As I've been reading the new appointments I try to remember...Place, prestige, and power don't matter. The Gospel does. May Christ be preached in all appointments, both new and old.

Waiting Silence

2006-04-14T16:25:00.000-04:00

At the Maundy Thursday service we put big signs on the doors instructing people to enter in silence. About 6:30, people started to arrive and they followed the instructions of the signs. As people filled the sanctuary, the silence was thick and almost oppressive. In our church, people like to talk. We like to gab and listen to what others have to say, but last night, nothing was said until the service started. Throughout the whole process, I was scurrying around like a church mouse...making sure that all my readers were in place, that Mike knew the deal for Communion, that my musicians were ready, but I, too, operated as quietly as possible, never speaking above a whisper. At 6:50, when I was sure that everyone and everything was ready, I walked to the front of the church and sat down. And waited. And waited. And waited. After what I thought had been an eternity and it must be time to start, I looked at the clock. It was only 6:53. Sitting in that silence was the longest ten minutes that I can remember.

As the service concluded, I asked people to leave in silence, and quietly people left the church. Although the service reminded us that we are people of Easter, our Scripture readings left Christ in the tomb. Although we were reminded of the coming promise, spoken by Jesus, that death would not hold Him in its' grasp, we left Christ in the desolation of the tomb. We left in silence, and now we wait. We wait throughout a day that was filled with devastation for the disciples. We wait throughout a day that was filled with horror and fear for those who knew Him best. We wait throughout a day that reminds us that Christ died. For us. Might we feel the devastation and horror and fear of true followers even as we wait. Darkness descended upon the Earth as The Light was crucified. It's uncomfortable to wait, even when we know the ending. The silence of the tomb is deafening. And now we wait in silence.

Black Friday

2006-04-14T14:17:00.000-04:00

Black Friday by Sonya Berg

Darkness closes in at Noon.

"It is finished!"

The veil is torn in two.

On the cross hangs the Son of God.

On His shoulders are the sins of all time.

Surely this man was the Son of God.

-MGJ

Response to Pacifism

2006-04-11T21:45:00.000-04:00

Recently a friend contacted me and asked me to expound on my views of Christ and war-hence, why do I believe in Just War? When is war justified? This is my response.

First of all, I do not believe the issue of pacifism to be crucial to one's salvation. Some people don't agree (hence the guy who spoke last year at Messiah and said that you can't be a son or daughter of God unless you are a pacifist), but I can find no Scriptural basis for this argument. I think that salvation comes through an understanding of the atoning work of Christ on the cross and I believe that we are called to live in light of that grace, striving to develop a deeper relationship and understanding of God in light of the cross. I rank a stance on pacifism in the same area as a stance on predestination or dispensationalism or eternal security. It's important to think about, it has important social and life implications, but it doesn't impact salvation or the work of God's prevenient grace in our lives. I'm not sure that's what you're asking, but that's where I'm at with that aspect of things.

I believe in peace. I pray for peace. I long for peace. I believe that Christ has come to bring peace. I believe that Christ preached a gospel of peace, and I believe that non-violence should work. In fact, with a brother and a brother-in-law both in the military, I pray for peace selfishly, as I don't want those two men that I love to see conflict. But, I still believe that just war is ok. I think that the main reason that I do believe that just war is alright is that I don't believe that the Kingdom of God has arrived in its' fullness. I believe that the Kingdom of God is here and not yet. I believe that the world still is under the tyranical hold of Satan, the prince of the power of the air. So, while I believe that peace is what is to be sought after and conflict should be resolved rather than escalated and oppression should never be a part of human existence, I don't believe that this is the reality that we live in.

I think that the next logical question, then, is "Does this mean that I believe that Christ, through the power of the Holy Spirit and the direction of God the Father, is unable to break in and change things?" The answer to that question is an absolute NO! I believe that God has the power to put an end to the reign of Satan, I believe that Christ will return triumphantly, I believe that Christ through the Holy Spirit is about the business of reconciling all things in Heaven and on earth unto Himself, but I believe that for some reason, which I do not understand, God has given control of the world for the time being to the evil one. So, because this is the case, peace cannot fully reign on earth because the devil is not about peace, but about conflict, war, and violence.

So, what's the role of the Christian in this difficult situation? I believe that the Christian is called to work for the furthering of the Kingdom of Heaven on earth. That means that should be about peace, mercy, justice, redemption, discipleship, etc, etc. What happens, though, when those two things collide? What happens, when an evil dictator is destroying an entire group of people and won't be stopped by negotiation? What happens when the freedom of people group (which is something that I believe strongly in as an Arminian) is taken away? What happens when peace and justice conflict? I think that there are times when war is justified if it is brought about to bring down someone who is endangering the lives of many others and will not be stopped by any other means. I believe that war is the last option that should be pursued, but because we live in a world controlled by the Evil One, sometimes it's the only thing that we can do to bring about justice and an end to oppression, both physical and spiritual. So, I believe that WWII was a just war. There's a part of me that believes that the current Iraqi conflict is probably justified to an extent. (I wish that our leaders had more of an exit strategy, but I believe that bringing down the regime of Saddam Hussein was legit). It's hard to tell, though, about wars that are fresher in our memory (current conflict) because some of our decision must be made through the lens of history. So, here's how it boils down for me...I believe that the political side of war is justified if it is the only option left, if it is not approached lightly and with a plan, and if it is approached to put an end to oppression and bring justice to people that do not have the opportunity to speak for themselves. Does war every advance the Gospel of Christ? Not necessarily, but at the same time, I beileve that God is sovereign and able to work in many situations (i.e. the Afghani man who was able to accept Christ and proclaim his faith in Christ openly because Afghanistan is a free country because of the conflict that ensued there).

At this point, it's hard for me to say how I see God/Christ relating to war. Obviously, throughout the Old Testament God declares war. In the NT, atonement came only through violence done towards one who was undeserving. So what do we do with that? Part of who I am as a Methodist is one who loves that which is practical and that which is rooted in reality. This said, I think that our reality on earth is one that lives in the midst of conflict. Some Christians (like my brothers) are called to be a part of that, others (like yourself) are called to remind us that the Kingdom is coming and there is a better way and to keep us accountable to stay away from gratuitous violence. It's a delicate balance in discerning the way that we are called to be involved in the world around us. Micah tells me that if Christians weren't involved in the military, then we'd be leaving it to those who have no conscience and who have no desire for peace, but rather only violence. It's a difficult place...I relate it to being United Methodist...if I left, I'd be leaving my church to those who don't believe in the divinity of Christ, so I stay and try to make sure that I can have an impact on that body.

Compassionate Christianity

2006-04-11T21:39:00.000-04:00

Philippians 1:7-8 It is right for me to feel this way about all of you, since I have you in my heart; for whether I am in chains or defending and confirming the gospel, all of you share in God's grace with me. 8 God can testify how I long for all of you with the affection of Christ Jesus.

What exactly is the “affection of Christ Jesus”? As we enter into Holy Week and turn our faces toward the cross, I find it hard to imagine the affection or compassion of Christ Jesus. This is not a simple phrase to swallow. This is not a phrase that is easily comprehended. In the light of the cross, this is not a simple phrase that can just flow off the tongue. As we will soon see and experience in our times of worship, the affection of Christ was costly and painful. It was deep and intense. It was life-giving to those who received it. It was not easy. I’m beginning to realize that to long for someone with the compassion of Christ is not simply missing someone-it’s being willing to give yourself for the sake of others. It’s a willingness to nail our desires, our wants, our very selves to a cross if it means that others will experience the life-giving richness of Christ Jesus. To long for someone, to have compassion for someone in the same way as Christ is a high order and a high call that is given to all of us. Dare we live it out and watch the Gospel of Christ shake the world.

Here’s the really tough thing. I can think about living with the compassion of Christ toward Beth. I can attempt to show Beth self-giving, life-giving, sacrificial love. I can comprehend attempting to show this love toward my family. On good days, I can think about demonstrating this love toward my close friends. But it’s difficult for me to think about this in connection to others outside of my circle. It’s really hard to think about this in connection to those people for whom I have a distaste. It’s even more difficult to think about this concern and compassion for those with whom I flat out disagree. In my spare time, I read a variety of Methodist-related blogs. I read the views and takes on the church by a wide variety of people, and sometimes I attempt to enter into the conversations that are started. Often, though, the conversations are not centered in self-giving love. They attempt to push their own opinions, taking a ground of moral superiority, attempting to make someone else who doesn’t agree with us look foolish. This is not conversation. This is arrogant conversation that does nothing but tear down the church and sharpen the lines that exist. These conversations don’t show the affection and compassion of Christ to our brothers and sisters. I’m not advocating for a ‘you believe what you want and I’ll believe what I want’ point of view. I’m advocating for compassion, for a willingness to hear others with whom we do not agree. I’m advocating for us to allow Christ to be present in our conversations. I’m advocating for a lifestyle that reflects to all with whom we come in contact the love of Christ, even if it means sacrificing what we think to be our rights or our correct opinions. I’m advocating that we show the world outside of the church that we inside of the church can long for each other with the affection of Christ. That would be truly, absolutely earthshaking.

All in the family

2006-04-11T16:27:00.000-04:00

Last night’s UM Discipline and Polity class had all the makings of being possibly the boringest class ever as we attempted to discuss General Administration, talking about the 13 General Agencies. Thankfully, the class took a turn for the better as someone brought up the idea of withholding apportionments. The question focused around the idea of withholding General Church apportionments to attempt to take a stand against some of the things happening at agencies that many local churches cannot support. Our prof recalled a time when he was a young, rebellious pastor and wanted his congregation to withhold monies for the same reason. He remembered how the senior pastor of the church he was serving pulled him aside and said “I love the church. Sometimes I have a lovers quarrel with the church, but I still love the church. If we withhold apportionments, we are no longer part of the family. If we want to see change come, we’ve got to be at the table, part of the family, working out of a position of strength, rather than eliminating our chance to be a part of conversations because we refuse to pay. We need to be part of the family.” As I heard this story, I was unsure of my response. Is it ever appropriate to withhold money? Is it ever OK? The more I’ve thought about it, the more I’ve got to say maybe, but we’ve got to know what we’re getting ourselves into. Withholding apportionments does nothing except anger and alienate people, leaving us voiceless, and I still believe that my voice can be worth more than my money. Thus, I believe that withholding apportionments must be done only as an absolute last resort. It can only be done if we’re saying “We’re no longer part of this family.” If that’s the case, than withholding apportionments is not making a moral or value statement. Instead it’s saying “I’m no longer a part of this,” and it’s effectively removing our voice and influence from the conversation. Pay your apportionments, write your tithe checks, be part of the conversation. Remain part of the family, and work from the inside for change, rather than setting yourself apart and bringing up feelings of anger and resentment that rarely, if ever, produces any type of change.

The Corruption of the Uncorrupted Cross

2006-04-02T18:17:00.000-04:00

In the back of our church, somewhat out of the way in a place that no one can see, hangs a shabby wooden cross with a crown of thorns hanging across the cross bow. The cross is rough hewn and fairly ugly, and this morning was really the first morning that I noticed it. It struck me, especially when compared to the dark-finished, beautiful wooden cross that is located in the front, that our view of the cross is missing something crucial. We want the cross to be beautiful, to be easy to embrace and hold on to. A rough hewn, splintering cross is something that we’d rather hide in the back of the church where we don’t have to see it very often. Yet, I’m beginning to understand that our theology of the cross must not be blemished by the unblemished cross. We are called to take up the cross of Christ as we move throughout life, and the cross we want to hold on to is not one of suffering of self-giving. I think that we need to re-embrace the cross as it is, not as we’d like to see it. The cross must not simply hang in the front of the church as a symbol of beauty-it must become a reminder of the suffering that we’re called to embrace, and the self-giving love that we’re supposed to show to the world around us.

Living Inbetween

2006-03-30T14:14:00.000-05:00

Beth and I are living an in-between life. On Friday she interviewed for a new job, but she won't hear anything until next week. Tomorrow we go for our first interview at NUMC for the youth min position, but that's far from completion. In the midst of these two, we're starting to look at new places to live, but we can't make any decisions until we know what jobs we have and how much they pay. I'm supposed to schedule my fall classes tomorrow, but I can't really nail down a schedule until I know where I'm working. We're living in-between, knowing that we're leaving where we are (probably), but not quite sure when or where we're going. Needless to say, this life is fairly stressful and adds a fair amount of anxiety to our lives. Beth and I are working very hard to hold these two positions with open hands, but it's hard, very, very hard. In the midst of all of this, I'm blown away by the faith of Abraham. I can't imagine how he might feel as he headed toward the place that he didn't know where he was going or when he was going to get there. I can't imagine the kind of faith that it takes to stand in the midst of not knowing where one is going or when you might get there. I'm in awe of faith that takes us to places that we don't know. I'm learning that faith...far, far away, but learning. I'm learning that patience is not as much fun as one might think. I'm learning that faith is more than what gets you through the tough times...faith gets us through the blurry, unknown times. I'm hoping that I can have faith like Abraham...and I'm hoping that I might know where I'm headed soon, too.

Seminary Street Cred

2006-03-30T14:13:00.000-05:00

I've come to the conclusion that I when I'm a seminary president (yeah right) I'm going to institute a class to help prospective pastors gain street cred, as I realized today that I have very little. I headed to work this morning and found out that I was working with Gary. Gary is a good ole' Kentucky boy...he's been working at the seminary phys plant for almost 20 years. I'm sure that Gary sees me coming and thinks to himself "Here comes the useless guy again." You see, Gary has been witness to several of my work-related failures (the time I set the yard on fire, the time I ran over a lightpole with the lawnmower, the time I couldn't figure out the right way to get the hitch off the tractor and it turned out that I was tightening it instead of loosening it...you get the picture) and although Gary is a really nice guy, I'm sure that he thinks that I'm just another worthless pastor type. This is way I think that seminaries should offer classes to increase our street cred with people like Gary. See, I can talk about the Greek use of the word phroneo in Philippians or I can identify the the use of parallelism in Matthew's gospel, but that means very little to Gary. Over the past few weeks I've heard it said "I need a pastor who isn't weird" and I've been told "Ministry is about relationships." I'll revise that a little bit...Ministry is about being credible in the eyes of those you minister to so you aren't viewed as weird and so that a relationship can be established. Ministry is about having street cred with the people that you minister to, which is why I think that seminaries should offer classes on how to fix cars or build things or knit and crochet...Things that you can do to build street cred with those you minister to. Sometimes I wonder about how I'll ever have street cred with the people that I'm going to minister with in Western PA. Thankfully, I'm a diehard Pennsylvania sports fan, and anyone who lives in Western PA has to love the Steelers, but other than that, I'm stuck. What happens if I get appointed to East Podunk, PA with people who could care less what I know about theology, people who love country music (I listen to jazz and random, ecletic pop rock), people who hunt (something that I've never done well), people who work on cars and know everything about the Camaro (I can tell you about the 1915 Pittsburgh Pirates, but nothing about cars), people who play country guitar (I play the tuba and I'm a classically trained high-tenor). I need some street cred, and I need to learn that soon. At some level, I realize that loving people makes up for a lack of street cred. I just hope that it's enough.

Watertowers and the Church

2006-03-30T14:10:00.000-05:00

This weekend Beth and I made a suicide trip from Kentucky to her home in NY state to celebrate her dad's 50th birthday, meet her brother's fiancee and her sister's new boyfriend. It's been somewhat of a whirlwind, long weekend...BUT...I was struck as we were driving up I-75 by the number of watertowers in Kentucky. They're everywhere...all along the road, you see watertowers, big and small, with the municipalities named scrawled across the tower. Some are simple, saying things like "Jessamine County North," while others attempt to be flashy watertowers, saying things like "Florence Y'all!" Being a Northeasterner, watertowers are not a part of the landscape that I'm used to, but I'm always struck by the importance they play in their respective communities. They show where a community is located, and I always know that I'm almost home when I see the Jessamine County tower. They provide life-giving resources to a community. They're really important, but if you didn't know what they are, you'd never know what you're dealing with. More than that, though, they often become part of the landscape, blending into the countryside without even a notice. But, what do they have to do with the church?
I believe that our churches need to be more like watertowers. I believe that our churches need to be the symbol of a community, directing people and showing people the way home. I believe that our churches need to be careful to be places that gush with the life-giving Gospel. Too often I think our churches become stagnant, holding onto the power we possess, unwilling to share it with those who are outside our community. We bring people in, but we never send them back out to provide resources to the community. Too often, though, we simply stand as a part of the community landscape, doing nothing to show people that we actually have something to offer. We need to be watertowers that stand out, marking our community and offering water to those are thirsty for the things of God.

A Small Fishbowl

2005-11-12T17:37:00.000-05:00

So, I am well aware that no one reads this, as I haven't told anyone about it, but it might feel good to write anyway...
I'm almost finished with my first semester at Asbury...It's been challenging and exciting. It' s been amazing to see God work and provide...not a week has gone by that God hasn't continued to provide for all of our needs and we rejoice and give witness to the power of God. Classes have been a challenge, and I continue to plug away (which is what I should be doing right now). Nothing like a little Matthew/Greek/New Testament to fry one's thought processes. I'm looking forward to Reading Week and Thanksgiving Break and I'm finding it very difficult to motivate myself to finish up the semester.

I walked down the street to Clucker's Corner Market the other day. For those unfamiliar with Wilmore, Clucker's is a unique place. It's the local gas station (that was also listed as a grocery store in my Welcome to Wilmore literature...tells you something about Wilmore!) and it's the local meeting place for everyone. One wall of Clucker's is lined with more JellyBellies than I even knew existed, and country music always blares over the radio. I get coffee there (if one can call the dark liquid that they sell coffee), and a few days ago I realized something somewhat profound...Outside of an occasional trip to Clucker's or the Kroger, I don't interract with the world. I walk by a sign in the commons everyday that screams "The World is our Parish," but the only world I meet is full of people like me...Seminary students and their spouses who sit and learn and engage knowledge...People who know Jesus. Rarely do I encounter anyone who doesn't know Jesus and who isn't engaged in a relationship with Him. Never do I share the faith that I have with one who doesn't...in fact, my discussions about faith are with people whose faith has brought them to the same conclusions that I have. I really don't even run into "liberal" Christians...We're all evangelicals here. So where's my world? Is my fish bowl too small, so that I've forgotten that the world exists. Clucker's Corner Market is less than a block from ATS, but it's worlds away. Why am I not in that world?

An ebenezer

2005-05-03T15:43:00.000-04:00

I spoke in chapel this morning for the last time. I've had a chance to speak in chapel many, many times over the past five years, but this was the first time that I've spoken in a Common Chapel. I spoke on ebenezers, on remembering God's faithfulness, on building a memorial to God's provision and blessing in our lives. It was an interesting way for me to say good-bye to a place that I have loved and worked, but it also made me think about the ebenezers in my own life. I've realized the importance of remembering, because I think that it serves several purposes:
1. Remembering that God has been faithful reminds us to be thankful
2. Remembering reminds us that we have been changed by a God who never changes
3. Remembering where we have come from allows us to be more mindful of where we are going
4. Remembering that God is faithful pulls us through the wilderness of life.

I never want to forget the times that God has been faithful or the times that I have experienced God's presence...

"Here I raise mine ebenezer, hither by thine help I've come
And I hope by thy good pleasure, safely to arrive at home"

Evangelicals on CNN

2005-02-03T11:52:00.000-05:00

CNN.com - Transcripts

I was reading the transcripts of Larry King's interview with leading evangelicals this morning and I realized what an interesting smattering of people King interviewed. Sounds like the LaHaye's sounded idiotic, like Franklin Graham was out of touch and like McLaren and Jakes were at least compassionate. I'm frustrated that the voice of the Evangelical community, of which I consider myself to be a member, is tainted by people like Tim and Beverly LaHaye who seem to have missed out on grace. I try to live my life ascompassionate conservative, one who votes with my head AND my heart, one who thinks before I speak. I watched the interview with Jim Wallis on the Daily Show as well, and although Wallis raised some concerns, I think that he has it figured out a little more. I'm anxious to read his book and see what I think. I wish that the evangelical church would realize that we MUST not simply preach the Gospel, but we must live our lives as if we care about people. The Gospel must include the birth, death, and resurrection of Christ, AS WELL AS the LIFE of Christ. One without the other is missing something. We must care about social security and the war in Iraq. We must care about the way that the church treats the homosexual community. We must care about poverty, both around in the world and in our own backyard. C'mon Church--think a little bit.

Joel Osteen Controversy

2005-02-02T15:01:00.000-05:00

Wesley Blog

So, I've been reading about Joel Osteen, a new name to me until recently. Osteen seems to have a huge church in Houston, but very little real theology. This is NEVER positive. Reading through the interviews at beliefnet.net is just about enough to make me sick. What people don't realize, I think, is that this type of theology divides the church. I've worked closely with students who patterned themselves after Osteen, and in a diverse and wondering community of students, it divides people faster than people realize. WesleyBlog decides that it's pulpit-envy...and he's right...every pastor wants to have a huge church, but more than that, any pastor I've met who's worth his salt wants to have a church that's true to God's Word...not their own.

In the midst of Confusion...

2005-02-02T13:28:00.000-05:00

My first post in my blog...I find myself reading the blogs of others and realizing that I may have something to add. In the midst of the questions and confusion that is sometimes a part of my life, I wait for clarity. I'll probably write about the things I read and think about...often the state of the church that I love and baseball. A lot of questions today...a lot of things to make me think. Just as I thought that we had our future figured out, God threw us a curveball. That's OK...God is still good and knows what's going on, even when we don't. Back to work...more thoughts later.