Thursday, September 28, 2006

Healing

Last week I sat through a class with Dr. Don Demaray. Dr. Don is 80 years old and about 40 years ago God gifted him with a gift of healing and a healing ministry. Although I have him for a speech class (which is ridiculously boring...I've learned things like I should use facial expressions or write out my speech when speaking in public...wow) he began to talk about healing. One of the other students had recently experienced healing from headaches, etc. and Dr. Don asked him to share his story. After Micah shared, we began to discuss healing, and I realized for the first time that I struggle with the issue of healing. After living with my Crohn's Disease for the past seven years and after praying for healing and having other people pray for my healing and not experience it, I realized that I struggle with the issue of healing. I believe in healing...I believe that God has the power to heal and frequently does so, but I struggle to know why God determines who gets healed and who doesn't. I'm NOT bitter...I'm just realize that talk of healing makes me uncomfortable and often makes me hurt, and frankly, I don't know what to do with that.

See, I know that Jesus Christ is transformational, revolutionary and absolutely power. I believe that the Holy Spirit moves and speaks and heals. I believe in a God that can completely change and perform miracles in the life of the world. So, in the midst of that, I'm not sure why God hasn't healed me. I know that I've learned much through my Crohn's, I know that my relationship with God has been transformed through my life with Crohn's, I know that I've developed my understanding of theodicy, and I know that I can speak deeply into the life of people in pain, but at the same time I wonder when I'll experience healing. I wonder how I can effectively pray for healing in the lives of others. See, healing is one of those areas that makes me uncomfortable, hurt and excited all at the same time.

Where do I go from this? I continue to wait for healing with a thankful heart for what I've already learned. I continue to wait for God to heal those I love. I continue to pray for healing for (spiritual, emotional, relational and physical) for my students (and Thanks be to God, I see it...God is mending broken kids and relationships in the NUMC Youth...Thanks be to God), and in the midst of that, I live into God's promise of healing, and I wait. God is powerful and sovereign and I am not. Thanks be to God.

Healing

Last week I sat through a class with Dr. Don Demaray. Dr. Don is 80 years old and about 40 years ago God gifted him with a gift of healing and a healing ministry. Although I have him for a speech class (which is ridiculously boring...I've learned things like I should use facial expressions or write out my speech when speaking in public...wow) he began to talk about healing. One of the other students had recently experienced healing from headaches, etc. and Dr. Don asked him to share his story. After Micah shared, we began to discuss healing, and I realized for the first time that I struggle with the issue of healing. After living with my Crohn's Disease for the past seven years and after praying for healing and having other people pray for my healing and not experience it, I realized that I struggle with the issue of healing. I believe in healing...I believe that God has the power to heal and frequently does so, but I struggle to know why God determines who gets healed and who doesn't. I'm NOT bitter...I'm just realize that talk of healing makes me uncomfortable and often makes me hurt, and frankly, I don't know what to do with that.

See, I know that Jesus Christ is transformational, revolutionary and absolutely power. I believe that the Holy Spirit moves and speaks and heals. I believe in a God that can completely change and perform miracles in the life of the world. So, in the midst of that, I'm not sure why God hasn't healed me. I know that I've learned much through my Crohn's, I know that my relationship with God has been transformed through my life with Crohn's, I know that I've developed my understanding of theodicy, and I know that I can speak deeply into the life of people in pain, but at the same time I wonder when I'll experience healing. I wonder how I can effectively pray for healing in the lives of others. See, healing is one of those areas that makes me uncomfortable, hurt and excited all at the same time.

Where do I go from this? I continue to wait for healing with a thankful heart for what I've already learned. I continue to wait for God to heal those I love. I continue to pray for healing for (spiritual, emotional, relational and physical) for my students (and Thanks be to God, I see it...God is mending broken kids and relationships in the NUMC Youth...Thanks be to God), and in the midst of that, I live into God's promise of healing, and I wait. God is powerful and sovereign and I am not. Thanks be to God.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Disciple

In just a little while, Beth and I will head off to our new Tuesday night activity...Disciple Bible Study. This is the first time that we've ever taken Disciple, and after just a week, I'm really really enjoying it and growing from it. I've come to the belief that Disciple is one of the great parts of Methodism that could be used by anyone from any denomination to grow in their Biblical knowledge and depth of relationship with Jesus Christ. I seriously believe that Church Historians in 100 years could point to Disciple as one of the highlights of this era. I know...I'm talking about big stuff but at the same time I'm realizing that Disciple has a tremendous impact on those willing to take it because of the Word of God has a tremendous impact when we attempt to truly encounter it. The Word of God truly is sharper than any two-edged sword and truly has the power and ability to transform lives.

So, here's the question...If the Word of God contains that much power and might, why do we not encounter it? I wonder if we live in fear of the Scripture, as we know that God can and does encounter us there. Do we avoid Biblical study, know what it might require of us? Do we avoid Biblical study because of control, because we're afraid that we might be asked to change adn relinquish ourselves to God? I dunno, but I know that I am being transformed by the Word, and it's scary and wonderful and exhilirating all at teh same time. Great, crazy, wild stuff.

Sunday, September 03, 2006

Summer's over

It's been a crazy summer, and I haven't blogged in two months, which is unfortunate since it's something that I very much enjoy. Currently it's 1:15 AM and when I wake up, it'll be Sunday morning. I should be asleep, for Sunday is the busiest (and bestest) day of my week, but unfortunately some Chinese food is prohibiting sleep, and since I happen to have internet access this weekend, I'll blog. Hopefully I won't miss as much time before the next writing occurs.

The past two months have been a tremendous time of learning and growing. Beth and I moved into our new "Hallment"-a unique combination of a hallway and an apartment. See, it's too big to be a hallway, but not quite big enough to be an apartment...somewhere inbetween. Other than the trains that scream by (about 30 feet away) and the lack of cat and personal laundry facilities, it's not that bad. Simplicity is something to work on and move towards...so we live in an apartment that's 14'x34'. We joke that it's almost too big for us and we should allow the hobos who ride the trains to live in the front room. We joke, and then we remember the people living on the Gulf Coast who still live in FEMA trailers and we stop joking. God is good, especially in our little hallment.

Things continue to fall into place in our new ministry venture. I'm learning to work with my wife...to mutually submit to one another's strengths and to constantly rejoice that God has not wired us identically. Someday we're going to write a book about working as a team, and the chapters will have catchy names like "Don't Send Your Wife to Wal-Mart", "When Matthew forgets all the important announcements-again" and "Telling your wife that crazy idea #948 really is impractical and somewhat far-fetched-A Case Study." Really catchy, huh? It's pretty incredible learning to work out of our strengths and allowing the other person to do the same. We connect with different kids, perform different tasks, have different roles and somehow we try to allow God to work through us to develop a Holy Spirit empowered youth ministry. In the midst of that I'm learning that I often work too much and pray too little, that I don't really understand at all the workings of God, that somedays I'm barely sure how to love Beth, let alone the numerous people (especially adults) who drive me batty, that I get caught up too easily in the tyranny of today and forget to think big picture and I hate newsletter deadlines. I'm learning to balance administration and relationship, I'm learning that I can preach really bad sermons that still have an impact (Thanks be to God), I'm learning that change comes slowly and painfully but God still asks us to do it and patience. Man, am I ever learning patience. Kids take a long time to get to know, and although I want to know them NOW and I want them to trust me NOW they don't...it's totally a work in progress, and I am often impatient. Bummer.

School starts on Tuesday. I'm as ready as I'm going to be, and that'll have to be good enough. Learning balance will take on a life of it's own, and that'll be OK although I'm nervous. I'll have to become much more disciplined with my hours and my life than I've been this summer and that's alright...just challenging.

Anyway, enough life lessons for tonight...tomorrow comes early...hopefully the Chinese will start to behave...That's the last thing I've learned this summer...I really LOVE Chinese food. A new development, and tonight, not a good one...Oh well...Live and learn.