Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Battered

On Saturday I attended a seminar at Louisville Presbyterian Theological Seminary called "Growing Souls: A Contemplative Approach to Youth Ministry." It was an excellent conference, and I feel as if I was predestined to be there (Oh...must be the Presbies got to me more than I realized!). Mark Yaconelli led us through several contemplative exercises including lectio divina. Our lectio exercisee was centered around Matthew 14:22-27 where Jesus walks on water in the midst of the storm and the disciples believe him to be a ghost. Part of the lectio exercise asks the participant to pick out a word or phrase that really sticks out. As we went through the exercise, I kept coming back to the word "battered."

Battered. I feel battered. School is kicking up (mid-terms are just around the corner), things at church are painful, although positive, and I feel battered. As I prayed through the word, I ended up saying over and over again "I need to know you're not a ghost. I need to know you're not a ghost." On Saturday and Sunday, that became my prayer. I need to know that you're not a ghost.

Sunday rolled around with all of its' fury. Church, lunch, planning, youth group. Youth group was ending, and in walked an ex-youth member who has been causing us a lot of problems. We had a confrontation with him earlier, asking him to step back from the group or follow our guidelines. It was an extremely painful conversation and I wasn't quite sure how it would end up. The student approached me and the difference from one week to another was overwhelming. With great humility he stated that he had realized that it was time for him to move on and he wanted an opportunity to say good-bye. After the previous meeting, this was nothing other than a movement of the Holy Spirit. Instead of causing a painful rift within the group, he was moving on with grace and maturity and the Holy Spirit was obviously the source of the reconciliation. I need to know you're not a ghost, eh?

Later that evening I spoke to one of our student leaders who has been embroiled in a conflict with another student leader. That evening, he had sought reconciliation and renewal with that student and God had been at work healing the rift that existed between them in miraculous ways. Another sign of the incredible reconciliation available through the Holy Spirit.

I KNOW that you're not a ghost. I still feel battered and tired, but I hear that voice say "Do not fear. It's me. I'm not a ghost." Thanks be to God.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Be Still

This is a short paper I wrote for my Speech class, using the "20 Principles of Good Writing." Although I've blogged about this experience before, I decided to post it again with a postscript. Last week Beth was speaking to a girl in the group who was with us on the trip and she said to Beth "I knew that Jesus died for me, but I think that night in Mississippi was the first time that I've ever given my life to Christ." Thanks be to God for God's work among us!!

This summer I had an experience that altered my understanding of ministry forever. After a hard week of work on the Gulf Coast, I gathered with a group of high school students on the beach for an evening of worship and Communion. In the days leading up to our service, I thought about what I might say to my students to help bring closure to our week, yet as I prayed, I felt led to prepare nothing. As we walked down to the beach, I continued to ask God for words and wisdom, yet I heard God saying “Be still and know that I AM God. I will be exalted.”
As we arrived at the beach I encouraged the students to take a moment and see the stars and dangle their feet into the water. Dusk was fading into darkness and we admired the brilliant colors of the sunset. I listened to the students talk and laugh, continuing to deepen the relationships that they had begun to develop throughout the week.
After a few minutes I brought the students together and asked a “How have you seen God this week?” As we sat on a deserted, devastated beach in Mississippi, students began to name the ways they had seen God move. They spoke of how they had seen God through others, how they had seen God in the middle of utter destruction. They spoke of seeing God in work and play. The more we talked together, the more we realized that God had been changing us and shaping us into people with hearts for others. We had seen Jesus in the faces of those we had served all week long.
Together, we began to sing. As the music faded, I read from I Corinthians 11 and invited the students to meet God in the sacrament. I gave students space to take time with God before coming to receive communion, and I expected that students might wait a minute or two before stepping forward. I stood amazed as I watched all of my students spread out across the beach, falling on their knees before the Almighty King. The Holy Spirit reigned down on my students and they were overwhelmed by the presence of God that was at work in their lives. As they began to come they did so with tears in their eyes. As I offered them the bread and juice, I realized something powerful that has left me changed. The work of God has nothing to do with me. The amount of time I spend in preparation or the words that I so carefully craft cannot even compare with a moment in which God moves. My role as a minister of the Gospel is not to force people to encounter God; rather my role is to create a space in which God is allowed to speak. My life and the lives of my students have not been the same since.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Asbury Theological Seminary Petition: Petition to the Board of Trustees of Asbury Theological Seminary in support of President Jeff Greenway

Asbury Theological Seminary Petition: Petition to the Board of Trustees of Asbury Theological Seminary in support of President Jeff Greenway

Just a note to those who read my blog and wish to support Dr. Jeff Greenway in his role as President of Asbury Theological Seminary. The situation continues to be tense, but I would encourage you to visit this site and show your support for our friend. If you'd like more info about what I know that's happening, let me know.
Thanks for your continued prayers for Jeff and the entire seminary community as we attempt to make sense of the situation.

Sunday, October 01, 2006

A Little Baseball

I am a diehard Western PA sports fan. I love the Pirates and the Steelers, and recently, I've been talking ridiculous amounts of trash to the many students in our youth ministry who are Bengal fans (ouch...it's been a rough week)! But, while football is just getting started, baseball is winding down, and minus the race in the NL Central (Go Astros!), the regular season has just about come to the end. With that in mind, I'd like to offer some deep and meaningful insight about the Swashbucklers of the Allegheny...the Pittsburgh Pirates. A breakdown of position by position...

C-Ronny Paulino...Paulino came on strong and was a thankful addition to the line-up, especially as I'm not terribly crazy about Humberto Cota. I think that Ryan Doumit could be a valuable player off the bench, but I think that Paulino is the catcher of the future. Strong arm, handles the pitchers well, hits for average and has a little pop...Like a Paul LoDuca except better behind the plate with a little more power. I think that we're good.

1B-I'm still not sure that I think that Xavier Nady is the answer...In fact, I think that Brad Eldred could be starting at first next season. Eldred is a horse...although he was hurt most of this season. Last season he hit 12 HR in 190 AB's. I'm just hoping that he not the next Rob Deer!! Anyway, I think that Nady might fit elsewhere...

2B-Jose Castillo showed a little pop early this season (12 HR's by June) but fizzled out pretty quickly (14 HR total!). I think that he's a good player...good glove, excellent at turning the doubleplay and worth keeping. We don't really have anyone in the minor league system who makes sense here, and Jose is just going to get better.

SS-Here's a change that we should make...Although Jack Wilson has an incredible glove, I think that he's at the poin that we're paying him too much! I like Jumpin Jack Flash...but just not that much. Time to trade him for something and then move the suprise of the season (Freddy Sanchez) to Short...Original position time. Sweet.

3B-Freddy Sanchez is maybe one of the better trades that the Pirates have made in recent years. Sanchez for Jeff Suppan from Boston a couple years ago. That's definately worked to our favor. Anyone who wins the batting title can stay in Pittsburgh, but again I think that he should play short. This would leave 3B open for Jose Baustista who has showed that he can hit for some pop, too...He just needs to up that .232 average, but I really think that he's the real deal.

So, with my way, our Infield would be Paulino, Eldred, Castillo, Sanchez and Bautista.

LF-J.Bay... .286 BA, 35 HR, 109 RBI's, 100 R, 11 SB...Cornerstone. Enough said.

CF-Chris Duffy-Seriously, I think that Duffy can hit leadoff. He's come on in the second half and he can run and play a decent CF, but let's face it...He's really just holding the place for Andrew McCutchen, the best overall Pirate player since B. Bonds. I saw McCutchen play for Hickory and the future is really bright in CF in 2008.

RF-Here's Nady's spot. Decent #6 hitter...not a bad return from the Mets for Roberto Hernandez, assuming that Oliver Perez continues to struggle. If Perez somehow harnasses his potential, then we'll look like fools, but I don't think that'll happen. Therefore, getting Nady for a 42 year old RP is a pretty good deal.

Starting Pitchers-Duke, Snell, Maholm, Gorzellanny are steller. Lefties galore, young arms who gained a year of experience and I fully expect Snell and Duke to explode next year. Gorzellany pitched well in the 2nd half and we'll be set. Add a crafty veteran or a young gun from the system (like Bryan Bullington or Sean Burnett) and the staff looks good. Seriously, they're the foundation and they look good. I'm particulary impressed with Snell, who I saw pitch in Altoona. He doesn't have great stuff, but he's a great athlete and he learned how to pitch this year. They look sound.

Relief Pitchers-Some good young pitchers...Gonzalez, Capps, Bayliss, possibly Brian Rogers. I like Mike Gonzalez (Here comes the BOOM!) and I think that he's the next Gagne without the ligament damage. Middle relife pitchers really aren't that big of a deal (see Moneyball).

So, after starting 30-60, Pittsburgh has a winning record in the second half. After investing money is worthless players (Meares, Burnitz, Randa, etc), I think that their on the right track. I was less than impressed with Littlefield's in-season trades (Shawn Chacon...are you kidding me?), but it wasn't too terrible. So, with all that in mind, I'm about to say something crazy.

The Pirates are next year's Tigers. Young pitching, adding a quality veteran, and allowing young bats to mature. I mean you can even see it with the All-Star game (Detroit hosted in 2005 and then won in 2006, Pittsburgh host in 2006, wins in 2007?). The young pitchers took their lumps (remember how Bonderman and Robertson got destroyed a couple years ago?) but they've come back and become dominant...I think that it's possible!
So...next year might be the year!




(that the Pirates finish .500!!). No more losing!!!

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Healing

Last week I sat through a class with Dr. Don Demaray. Dr. Don is 80 years old and about 40 years ago God gifted him with a gift of healing and a healing ministry. Although I have him for a speech class (which is ridiculously boring...I've learned things like I should use facial expressions or write out my speech when speaking in public...wow) he began to talk about healing. One of the other students had recently experienced healing from headaches, etc. and Dr. Don asked him to share his story. After Micah shared, we began to discuss healing, and I realized for the first time that I struggle with the issue of healing. After living with my Crohn's Disease for the past seven years and after praying for healing and having other people pray for my healing and not experience it, I realized that I struggle with the issue of healing. I believe in healing...I believe that God has the power to heal and frequently does so, but I struggle to know why God determines who gets healed and who doesn't. I'm NOT bitter...I'm just realize that talk of healing makes me uncomfortable and often makes me hurt, and frankly, I don't know what to do with that.

See, I know that Jesus Christ is transformational, revolutionary and absolutely power. I believe that the Holy Spirit moves and speaks and heals. I believe in a God that can completely change and perform miracles in the life of the world. So, in the midst of that, I'm not sure why God hasn't healed me. I know that I've learned much through my Crohn's, I know that my relationship with God has been transformed through my life with Crohn's, I know that I've developed my understanding of theodicy, and I know that I can speak deeply into the life of people in pain, but at the same time I wonder when I'll experience healing. I wonder how I can effectively pray for healing in the lives of others. See, healing is one of those areas that makes me uncomfortable, hurt and excited all at the same time.

Where do I go from this? I continue to wait for healing with a thankful heart for what I've already learned. I continue to wait for God to heal those I love. I continue to pray for healing for (spiritual, emotional, relational and physical) for my students (and Thanks be to God, I see it...God is mending broken kids and relationships in the NUMC Youth...Thanks be to God), and in the midst of that, I live into God's promise of healing, and I wait. God is powerful and sovereign and I am not. Thanks be to God.

Healing

Last week I sat through a class with Dr. Don Demaray. Dr. Don is 80 years old and about 40 years ago God gifted him with a gift of healing and a healing ministry. Although I have him for a speech class (which is ridiculously boring...I've learned things like I should use facial expressions or write out my speech when speaking in public...wow) he began to talk about healing. One of the other students had recently experienced healing from headaches, etc. and Dr. Don asked him to share his story. After Micah shared, we began to discuss healing, and I realized for the first time that I struggle with the issue of healing. After living with my Crohn's Disease for the past seven years and after praying for healing and having other people pray for my healing and not experience it, I realized that I struggle with the issue of healing. I believe in healing...I believe that God has the power to heal and frequently does so, but I struggle to know why God determines who gets healed and who doesn't. I'm NOT bitter...I'm just realize that talk of healing makes me uncomfortable and often makes me hurt, and frankly, I don't know what to do with that.

See, I know that Jesus Christ is transformational, revolutionary and absolutely power. I believe that the Holy Spirit moves and speaks and heals. I believe in a God that can completely change and perform miracles in the life of the world. So, in the midst of that, I'm not sure why God hasn't healed me. I know that I've learned much through my Crohn's, I know that my relationship with God has been transformed through my life with Crohn's, I know that I've developed my understanding of theodicy, and I know that I can speak deeply into the life of people in pain, but at the same time I wonder when I'll experience healing. I wonder how I can effectively pray for healing in the lives of others. See, healing is one of those areas that makes me uncomfortable, hurt and excited all at the same time.

Where do I go from this? I continue to wait for healing with a thankful heart for what I've already learned. I continue to wait for God to heal those I love. I continue to pray for healing for (spiritual, emotional, relational and physical) for my students (and Thanks be to God, I see it...God is mending broken kids and relationships in the NUMC Youth...Thanks be to God), and in the midst of that, I live into God's promise of healing, and I wait. God is powerful and sovereign and I am not. Thanks be to God.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Disciple

In just a little while, Beth and I will head off to our new Tuesday night activity...Disciple Bible Study. This is the first time that we've ever taken Disciple, and after just a week, I'm really really enjoying it and growing from it. I've come to the belief that Disciple is one of the great parts of Methodism that could be used by anyone from any denomination to grow in their Biblical knowledge and depth of relationship with Jesus Christ. I seriously believe that Church Historians in 100 years could point to Disciple as one of the highlights of this era. I know...I'm talking about big stuff but at the same time I'm realizing that Disciple has a tremendous impact on those willing to take it because of the Word of God has a tremendous impact when we attempt to truly encounter it. The Word of God truly is sharper than any two-edged sword and truly has the power and ability to transform lives.

So, here's the question...If the Word of God contains that much power and might, why do we not encounter it? I wonder if we live in fear of the Scripture, as we know that God can and does encounter us there. Do we avoid Biblical study, know what it might require of us? Do we avoid Biblical study because of control, because we're afraid that we might be asked to change adn relinquish ourselves to God? I dunno, but I know that I am being transformed by the Word, and it's scary and wonderful and exhilirating all at teh same time. Great, crazy, wild stuff.

Sunday, September 03, 2006

Summer's over

It's been a crazy summer, and I haven't blogged in two months, which is unfortunate since it's something that I very much enjoy. Currently it's 1:15 AM and when I wake up, it'll be Sunday morning. I should be asleep, for Sunday is the busiest (and bestest) day of my week, but unfortunately some Chinese food is prohibiting sleep, and since I happen to have internet access this weekend, I'll blog. Hopefully I won't miss as much time before the next writing occurs.

The past two months have been a tremendous time of learning and growing. Beth and I moved into our new "Hallment"-a unique combination of a hallway and an apartment. See, it's too big to be a hallway, but not quite big enough to be an apartment...somewhere inbetween. Other than the trains that scream by (about 30 feet away) and the lack of cat and personal laundry facilities, it's not that bad. Simplicity is something to work on and move towards...so we live in an apartment that's 14'x34'. We joke that it's almost too big for us and we should allow the hobos who ride the trains to live in the front room. We joke, and then we remember the people living on the Gulf Coast who still live in FEMA trailers and we stop joking. God is good, especially in our little hallment.

Things continue to fall into place in our new ministry venture. I'm learning to work with my wife...to mutually submit to one another's strengths and to constantly rejoice that God has not wired us identically. Someday we're going to write a book about working as a team, and the chapters will have catchy names like "Don't Send Your Wife to Wal-Mart", "When Matthew forgets all the important announcements-again" and "Telling your wife that crazy idea #948 really is impractical and somewhat far-fetched-A Case Study." Really catchy, huh? It's pretty incredible learning to work out of our strengths and allowing the other person to do the same. We connect with different kids, perform different tasks, have different roles and somehow we try to allow God to work through us to develop a Holy Spirit empowered youth ministry. In the midst of that I'm learning that I often work too much and pray too little, that I don't really understand at all the workings of God, that somedays I'm barely sure how to love Beth, let alone the numerous people (especially adults) who drive me batty, that I get caught up too easily in the tyranny of today and forget to think big picture and I hate newsletter deadlines. I'm learning to balance administration and relationship, I'm learning that I can preach really bad sermons that still have an impact (Thanks be to God), I'm learning that change comes slowly and painfully but God still asks us to do it and patience. Man, am I ever learning patience. Kids take a long time to get to know, and although I want to know them NOW and I want them to trust me NOW they don't...it's totally a work in progress, and I am often impatient. Bummer.

School starts on Tuesday. I'm as ready as I'm going to be, and that'll have to be good enough. Learning balance will take on a life of it's own, and that'll be OK although I'm nervous. I'll have to become much more disciplined with my hours and my life than I've been this summer and that's alright...just challenging.

Anyway, enough life lessons for tonight...tomorrow comes early...hopefully the Chinese will start to behave...That's the last thing I've learned this summer...I really LOVE Chinese food. A new development, and tonight, not a good one...Oh well...Live and learn.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Creating a space

Over the last few weeks Beth and I have been slowly transitioning into our new roles as Co-Youth Directors at Nicholasville UMC. We love it. Seriously, this is maybe the best job I've ever had. I'm in awe of the kids, I love working closely with my wife, we're walking into a great set-up and we're learning big lessons. Probably the biggest thing that I've learned so far happened during our Mission trip with the Sr. High kids to Long Beach, MS. Prior to the trip, I've been reading Contemplative Youth Ministry by Mark Yaconelli. Yaconelli stresses the fact that in youth ministry we often get too caught up in ministry being about us and our ideas and our programs. He believes that we need to create a place for our youth to experience God. When I first read this I thought "Of course this makes sense! Youth ministry is not necessarily about programming and whatever...it's about God and the way that I show kids God." Unfortunately, the last part of the statement was my own, as I believed that I was somehow crucially necessary for kids to experience God. I thought that my preaching and planning and worship leading would change the way that kids get to know God. Then we went on our trip.

The trip wasn't mine to lead. Zac, the former youth minister, was leading the trip and we were along for the ride. Zac asked me to help one of the kids lead worship. I asked him about evening devotions and worship and he basically told me that we weren't going to have any kind of message...we were just going to talk about our days and sing together. I thought that this seemed a little crazy and insignificant, but it wasn't my trip to lead so I did as Zac asked. As the week went on, I began to encourage kids to sit in silence, thinking to myself that they were probably bored as they did it, but over and over again we would end the silence and kids would be in tears. On the last night, we headed to the beach for worship and communion. We sang together, read out of I Corinthians 11 and then invited the kids to be with God before they came to take the elements. When we said this I expected the kids to sit for about 30 seconds and then come for the elements. Instead, kids headed away to different parts of the beach and fell on the faces and knees before God for almost 30 minutes. Kids wept and talked quietly together and then came one by one to receive the elements and be prayed over. God moved in the kids lives and I had nothing to do about it. I simply created a space for God to be present in the busy-ness of our schedule and God came in powerful ways. As kids later shared with me about their time that night I heard stories about how they realized that they were truly taking part in the body and blood of Christ. I heard stories about how they learned that by service they meet Jesus. I heard stories of kids who realized that get too consumed with material stuff of the world and that they desperately want to follow Jesus. God came and I had nothing to do with it. I'm learning that my job as a youth minister is not to have great sermons and excellent programming...my job is to create a space for God both in my life and in the lives of my kids. God is bigger than me and God is plently big enough for my kids. Thanks be to God.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Quick thoughts

I want to write a bunch...I'm just home from two fantastic mission trips with the good kids from NUMC. God moved and we were amazed, but more about that later.

A couple months ago I wrote a post about Panera bread and church. Yesterday, my aunt, who I love dearly left me a comment that ripped me up. She noted that many people who go to Panera or who spend Sunday mornings sitting on their porches know what they're missing, but they also know that they won't find it in a church. She stopped me in my tracks and made me realize again that we're not offering God in a way that transforms people. On top of that, I've been reading in Mark...this morning I was reading through Mark 5 where Jesus starts to drive out demons and heal women and raise people from the dead. Jesus is full of power and I believe that Jesus offers that same power today. Unfortunately, for some reason we think that we need to dress Jesus up in such a way that he becomes acceptable or pertinent to the people around us instead of just allowing the work of Jesus and the power of Jesus to stand by itself. We become so fake in our relationships with others and we become so power hungry in our relationship with the church that we limit the power of Jesus to transform lives in a powerful way. That's not the way that we should be at work. Jesus will heal our brokenness, transform our hurts, drive out our demons and renew us if we'd only let him. Churches need to get back to Jesus-centered programming rather than us-centered programming that we think might work, because frankly, it's not about us.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Annual Conference, Part Two

I'm coming down off my Conference high while spending some time with my wife's side of the family in Baltimore, MD. It's been a good couple days, but I have to try to avoid starting every other sentence with the words "Oh, so at Conference...". You see, my father-in-law is a Baptist pastor in a Baptist denomination that has no idea what it means to be connected to something. I once asked him what kind of Baptist he is and he really wasn't sure. He used to belong to some sort of Association, but he doesn't think that he does anymore. My sister-in-law and her husband belong to an independant, young adult-ish church here in Baltimore that doesn't really pretend to be connected to anything else. Needless to say, they don't quite get Conference and when I talk about it around them, I get looks like I'm growing antennas. They try to understand, and they know that it's important to me, but they really don't know why.

Here's the problem...there are many Methodists who don't get Conference. Many of lay people have no clue why their pastor leaves for a weekend in June. Even the lay people who attend Conference don't always get it. I had one lady say to me this weekend "I'm not really sure what's going on." In fact, many lay people in our local churches see the Conference as their enemy. While we were in Hyndman, there were church members who had no idea what the Conference was, only that someone had told them that the Conference could stroll in and shut down there church whenever they might so choose. One of the churches where I did pulpit supply had members who spoke with their voice full of venom when they spoke about the Conference, especially when the decision was made to close down the church (A good decision, might I add. The church was 20 miles from civilization, had about 10 regular attenders who drove past a vibrant UM congregation to get to their dying one and they were getting to the point where they were paying so much for building upkeep that they couldn't keep up with any other bills. A no-brainer in my book, but they sure didn't think so!). My concern is that this lack of understanding stems from a lack of importance that clergy place on Conference. I know that there are clergy who attend as little of Conference as possible, and who dream of the day when they don't have to show up anymore. There are many clergy who find Conference to be a waste of time. There are many soon-to-be clergy who don't get Conference, either. Last semester,after my UM Polity final, I had a guy walk up to me and say "So, I know that Conference is important, but I really don't get it. Why does Conference matter that much? How does it affect local churches? Why should I care?" I've been thinking about that question ever since, and throughout last week I tried to think of an answer.

Last weekend, Conference truly was a means of grace in my life. I was able to spend time with my Dad and with my good friend Erik who is a student at Candler. Together, we dreamed about the day that we would come back to the Conference as clergy and we talked about the ways that we saw God at work in the Conference and how we might be called to be a part of God's work. I worshipped with the Hot Metal Bridge folks until tears were streaming down my face. I realized that not all "Contemporary" worship is the same (more on this later). I was inspired by the leadership of our Bishop and by the preaching of Bishop Fisher. And I legislated. As I stood up to deal with Special Sundays in my legislative section, I was reminded that God's Kingdom is big...big enough that we have Sundays for youth, people with disabilities, camping, rural life, children's ministries, and social outreach. When our local churches band together to support these Sundays, our impact across Western PA is expanded and God's Kingdom is furthered. That's what I really was reminded of at Conference...God's Kingdom is found in many places and God's Kingdom is at work through the work of many people...in Ambridge, at the Hot Metal Bridge Faith Community, in Hyndman, in Erie, in Pittsburgh, in Louisiana and Mississippi. God's Kingdom is here on earth, and Annual Conference showed me the many ways that we are called to be a part of that. See, Conference matters because when we gather as God's people to worship, to fellowship, and yes, even to legislate, we have the opportunity to be witnesses to the Kingdom of God and the work of God in the world. We have to opportunity to discern what God is doing and how we might be a part of that. CONFERENCE MATTERS!! Hopefully, we can show that when we get home to our local churches throughout the Connection.

Monday, June 19, 2006

Annual Conference, Part One

As I headed home from Annual Conference yesterday, I was exhausted. Conference always seems to have so many people that I need to catch up with and some many other new people to meet and greet on top of the "business" that needs to be done that I never seem to go to bed when I should. As I drove to meet Beth at her sister's house, I attempted to think about and process the weekend. There are too many thoughts for one blog post, so I'll spread them out over a couple of days.

First, I was certified as a Candidate for ministry this week. This was a very exciting step in the process for me, as it means that I get to continue on and that the Committee sees that I have things to offer to the Western PA Conference. Thinking about being Certified made me excited, but it also made me a little jumpy. When I would tell people that I still have three years left of school, it seemed like a very long time, while I know that those three years will fly by. I know that I have much to learn and many ways in which I need to grow (and that will take me more than three years!) but at the same time I'm so excited to come back and begin that stage of ministry that it makes me relatively impatient. Nonetheless, that was an exciting event in my continued journey.

When I arrived at my sister-in-law's yesterday, my Baptist pastor father-in-law asked me if we did anything important. I mentioned the Strategic Plan and attempted to explain it the best I could, but I think that he was confused. Honestly, I was conflicted about the Plan at Conference. I'm sure that our Conference needs a direction and a vision, and I agree wholeheartedly with the vision, mission and core value of the plan, but after that I got a little conflicted. I felt that it was difficult to deal with the plan when we weren't dealing with Appendix D which laid out the specifics of the plan. For example, I wasn't all too keen on the idea of hiring a PR firm to recruit clergy back to Western PA. For one thing, I don't want clergy who are recruited, I want clergy who are called. Too many people are recruited into ministry and are not called to it, and I think that this is a major issue. More than that, I wasn't quite sure what good it will do to have a PR make up a glossy brochure to send to colleges, seminaries and job fairs. A glossy brochure won't entice me to come back to Western PA, and while I realize that we're at a distinct disadvantage economically (I know this because representatives from other conferences have mentioned that I might think about a place like North Georgia or Florida where the minimum salary is almost more than $10,000 more than it is in Western PA), but I don't think that a PR firm is going to help us overcome our economic disadvantage. If I'm going to come back to Western PA (which I'm 99% sure that I am...I'm leaving the door open for God to call me elsewhere, but that's not been God's call at this point...so far, God is calling me strongly back home), I'm going to come back because I believe in the direction of the Conference, because I believe in the leadership in place in the Conference, because I know that my home church cares about me, because I know that my District Committee and my DS is concerned about me and thinks about me. I won't come back to Western PA because of a PR firm...I'll come back because of relationships...relationships with clergy and laity. After all, as one of profs says, Ministry is about relationships. Maybe we should take the $25,000 we'll pay a PR firm and invest it in Camping, a place where so many young people feel their call to ministry. This is just one of the areas that I'm conflicted about when concerning the strategic plan. Hopefully we'll continue to refine and discern what God is doing in our Conference and that will continue to become our strategic plan.

Saturday, May 27, 2006

"And they left rejoicing because they had been considered worthy to suffer for the sake of the Name." Acts 5:41

Over the last few weeks, our Sunday School class has been working through Acts. It's been a really interesting study, especially when Dan, our teacher and a professor at Asbury College, can relate everything to G.K. Chesterton and Shakespeare. As I read this verse, found in the context of Peter and John suffering for the Gospel, it struck me, although I didn't know why at the time. Shortly after we read this, Beth and I learned that we have to move from the house that we've been living to a small, rundown, seminary apartment that's about the same size as a hallway. We have to give up our beloved cat, McPheeters, sell our washer and dryer, downsize our stuff significantly and shake up the life we've been living. Why? Because we got a new job...no longer will I be the Groundskeeper at Rose Hill, but we're the new Directors of Youth Ministry at Nicholasville UMC. I've really struggled thinking about moving...it's not what I had expected and it's not what I was hoping for. I've become very satisfied and very comfortable where we are, and I really don't want to give up our cat. But the more the situation has unfolded, the more that I'm assured that we're doing the right thing by taking our job at NUMC. The group is poised to grow, not only numerically, but more importantly, as disciples of Jesus. We know of at least three or four kids who are beginning to discern a full-time call to ministry. We see the group growing in leaps and bounds, and as we prepare to give leadership through the power of the Holy Spirit to these young people, we're being attacked. As I've struggled with moving, I'm reminded of the apostles who had to give up more than their cat for the sake of the Gospel, and they rejoiced because they were considered worthy to suffer. We believe that God wants to move in the lives of our youth, and this is the way that Satan attempts to bring us down. For now, we covet your prayers and we rejoice because, in some small way, we've been considered worthy to suffer for the Name. Thanks be to God.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Panera wanderings

Every Sunday morning, Beth and I arise and head to Panera bread before we head off to the busyness that Sundays are becoming in our house, with worship practice, Sunday School, leading worship, youth group and our small group. (If it's this busy this spring, I don't what I'm going to do when the Steelers play in the Fall...we might have to think about having youth some time other than Sunday afternoon/evenings!!). Anyway, we use an hour or so on Sunday mornings to catch up, talk about our joint readings, really listen and hear what's going on in each other's lives and drink coffee. Lots of coffee. This way, by the time we get to church, we're ready to roll, both because we're hopped up on caffeine and because we've been reminded how much we love each other. Last Sunday was no exception, but as we headed out of Panera around 9 AM, I realized something that I've never noticed before: There were a LOT of people in Panera, and unlike us, they weren't heading out the door on their way to worship. In fact, many of these heathen were simply drinking coffee, surfing the Internet, reading the comics, etc. Many of them had no idea that they were pagans.

Alright, I don't really think that people who sit in Panera Bread on Sunday mornings are pagans or heathen. In fact, as we left my heart broke for the people who were left in Panera because they didn't know what they were missing. As we headed off to worship the Almighty God, to fellowship with other believers, to be encouraged and strengthed and challenged by the Word of God, many people sat by themselves in Panera and had no idea that what they were missing. I wonder why people show up to Panera by themselves on Sunday morning. Do they realize that they need fellowship and connection with others, but the best place that they can find it is sitting in a busy coffee shop? Have they been hurt by the institutional church in such a way that they'll never go back? Has the church promoted religion without power so that they don't even realize that their missing something? Have we offered people a watered down version of Christianity that means little, so little that people would rather hang out in Panera than encounter the God we pander?

I believe that a true, life changing encounter with God shakes people's worlds. I believe that when we understand God in the presence of ecclesia we are not the same. But many churches don't offer a life-changing encounter with God. Many churches don't know how to welcome new people into true fellowship. Many churches offer religion without freedom from sin and bondage. Many churches offer cheap grace that means little. Many churches have failed those people who sit in Panera on Sunday mornings because we have failed to remember that our programs are not God-instead they should be the witness of the power of God in the world. Too many of our churches have become a shadow of what they could be because we've forgotten to work with the empowerment of the Holy Spirit, somehow thinking that we in ourselves have enough to offer. We've become a "dead sect," having the "form of religion without the power." And because of that, people sit in Panera bread on Sunday mornings not knowing what they're missing.

We can offer God. We can offer transformation through the power of the Holy Spirit. We can offer life-changing, situation-changing, sin-breaking, freeing power that comes through Jesus Christ. We can offer koinonia, true fellowship. We, as the people who bear the name of Christ, can offer something that would shake people from their coffee-loving, bagel eating seats. Too often, though, we're happy just to do our thing and forget about the people at Panera. Bishop Scott Jones says that our churches are ready to do evangelism-if the 1950's ever roll around again. We need to remember the people who need Jesus. We need to take seriously the call to make Disciples to all ends of the earth, even Panera. We need to believe that, because of Jesus, we have something to offer, and we need to live that out in our worship, our fellowship and our preaching. Let's shake people out of coffee-shops and cafes on Sunday mornings and show them something that can get them going, even more than outrageous amounts of caffeine-true encounter with God.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

I don't believe in Social Justice

I have come to the conclusion that I don't believe in Social Justice in the church. Social Justice is fine for groups like the Kiwanas or the Rotary Club, but I don't think that it should have any place or power in the church. Now that I've got your attention, let me explain.

I believe in Social Gospel. I believe in the power of the Word of God to transform lives and communities. As I go on to Sanctification, I become more steeped in the Gospel of Jesus Christ, more empowered by the Holy Spirit to live it out, more on fire to see that all the world understand the life-changing, transformational power of the Gospel. I believe that the Gospel is a wholistic gospel, ministering to all the needs that human kind experiences. Thus, as I attempt to live out the Gospel I attempt to claim and proclaim the work of God in my life. I attempt to give testimony to the work of the Holy Spirit. I also attempt to model the example given to us by Christ-one of self-giving love that speaks to and ministers to the physical, emotional and spiritual needs of people. In this sense, I attempt to reach out to the downtrodden, minister to the oppressed, speak up for the voiceless, cry out for reconciliation, but I do all of this in the name of Jesus, while I proclaim and give testimony to the work of Jesus Christ on the cross and the way that I have been made new and transformed. I believe that a perfect blend of this is found in the end of Acts 4, as the disciples meet the needs of the needy and reach out to heal those around them, but at the same time we notice that they give testimony to the resurrection of Jesus Christ. Social Gospel is powered by the work of Christ. It is renewed and given life by the work of Christ. It brings about societal change in real and tangible ways, but also gives voice to the message of Christ crucified and resurrected. That's where social justice misses the boat.

Social Justice often fails to mention Christ. During the first year that we were married, Beth worked at a United Methodist's Children's Home and recently she applied for a job with a Presbyterian social work agency. In both cases, these faith-funded organizations told her than if kids want to go to Sunday School, they can or if kids push her about her faith in Christ, she can share it, but she needs to be really careful not to publicize her faith too much. In both cases, these organizations were social agencies connected to a church, receiving funding from a church, reaching out to the least of society. In both cases, Jesus wasn't really invited or allowed. In both cases, Beth realized that the only thing that could truly transform the lives of the kids that she came in contact with was hope and future and the new life found only through life lived with Christ. She could teach all the lifeskills she wanted, she could teach kids how to manage anger and hurt, she could attempt to help kids heal from brokenness and abuse, but the only thing that would cut it, the only thing that would truly transform and renew her kids was the radical love of Jesus.

Social Justice attempts to work for temporary change for the sake of justice. Social Gospel attempts to work for long-term, eternal change in individuals and in society for the sake of God. For God's sake, let's get to work.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

A week behind

I'm about a week behind the hoopla of the Judicial Council meeting, but I thought that I'd write a quick post about it anyway. Seminary makes me a week behind. That's just the way it is. I'm lucky that I'm not a week behind in my work!!

I'm beginning to wonder about the long-term ramifications about Decisions 1031 and 1032, and conversly, 1041 and 1042, in which the J-Council decided not to reconsider their previous decisions. I agree with the J-Council and I think that they got it right the first time. I don't think that the decisions were necessarily about homosexuality, instead focusing on a lack of due process given Rev. Johnson, thus violating his constitutional rights (1031) and the interpretation of who has the power to determine membership-thus, are we born into membership as a right or is it something that can be given and taken away. I think that stating that we are born or baptized into membership seems a little baptismal regenerationish to me and I'm not really comfortable with that. In fact, several wars and theological debates raged during the Reformation to finally state that you are not necessarily born into the church; instead you chose the church and the church accepts you based on standards of lifestyle that the church deems acceptable. (At this point, I should discuss my understanding of a Wesleyan view of salvation and sanctification, but I don't feel like I have that much time or space right now, but it is importantto memebership. Maybe I'll write about that later.) With this in mind, part of Decision 1032 was about homosexuality, and the pastor's right to determine who should be allowed into membership, but I think that most of 1032 was allowing the pastor to have final say on membership, and I think that this is a pastor's responsibility. But I don't want to debate 1031 and 1032...I just wanted to give some background on where I'm coming from.

Here's the question-What's going to happen at GC 2008? My hunch is that the liberal side of the church will bring legislation forward to change the way we deal with church membership. My hunch is that it will fail. Thus, based on 1031 and 1032, I think that we'll begin to talk about amicable seperation. I don't know how I feel about seperation. I hate the idea of the church dividing over anything. I think that we spoil our Christian witness to the world when we realize that we can't get along. I think that we destroy conversation, dialogue and the ability to learn and grow from each other's experience when we seperate. I don't think that any social issue, including homosexuality is worth splitting over. If we were to do so, we would not be true to the Biblical mandate to be, to think, to love with the mind of Christ Jesus. In fact, I believe that the only thing that brings church unity is an understanding of the work of Christ in and through us and how we will respond to the mandates and mission given by Christ through the witness of Scripture.

But here's the catch...I don't think that the issue that the church has been debating since 1976 is really the issue of homosexuality. I think that the main issue is our understanding of the authority of Scripture, and based on our understanding of Scripture, the Divinity of Jesus. I think that the issue of homosexuality is the way that we're playing out our ideas of Scripture and our Christology. Naturally, I think that we would have to work out how we minister to and with homosexuals, but I think that the main issue here isn't homosexuality, but how we decide to hold the importance of Scripture. With this in mind, I'm not necessarily against the idea of amicable seperation, because Scripture and Christology matter, and the matter a bunch. Scripture and Christology sets us apart as being a church, rather than being a cult, so if the real fight is about Scripture, we have to begin to rethink if we're really a church that is unified by the Presence and work of Christ.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Conference Junkie

Over the last semester I've taken UM Polity and Discipline. I throughly enjoy United Methodist polity. I'm somewhat of a Conference nerd. Ok, I'll be honest...I'm totally a Conference nerd. It's what I do. I get so excited the night before Conference that I can't sleep. I planned my wedding around Conference so that I wouldn't have to miss Conference to be at my wedding. (FYI-I told Beth that I was willing to miss Conference this one time, but if we ever wanted to be together on our Anniversary, we should really rethink our plans). I almost skipped my high school graduation for Conference, but my Mom made me come home. I got home from Conference, graduated and drove back to Conference. Why do I love Conference so much? I love to see people and sing "And Are We Yet Alive" and deal with issues facing the church and see more people and talk about things and hear new ministry ideas and see more people (Can you tell that I'm an extrovert? I am!). Anyway, Polity was an enjoyable class because I got to think about all my experiences and Conferences and dream about more Conferences and whatnot. Yesterday was our Final, and I think that it had become evident to most of the class that I had some Conference experience, especially on the General level, so this morning I was approached by two different people at different times asking the same question..."Why does Conference (especially the General Conference) really matter? What has the General Conference ever done to help the local church?"

This was a tough question to answer, as I realize that most of what we do at General Conference has very little impact on the local church, and I readily admitted this to my classmates. In fact, I believe that one of the major issues at the General level (Conference, Boards and agencies, etc) is that we've forgotten what it looks like to be in a local church, especially in the small local church. Most of the lay delegates are unordained, full-time church staff who can take off two weeks of work to be at Conference. Many other lay delegates come from the big congregations in Conferences. To be elected to the General Conference on the clergy side of the board means that you've achieved enough and been around long enough to be recognizable. Normally this recognition means that you're in a big church or you're a college president or a district superintendent. While I realize that it's not true across the board (my friend and mentor is someone who remembers the Local Church and he models this well for me and for others), many people, clergy and laity, forget about the Local Church when we get to General Conference. We think that we're changing the world when we vote through a resolution that is to be sent to the US government. We think that we're dealing with deep and important issues when we hotly debate how many people from each jurisdiction should be represented on General agencies and how we should strongly recommend a particular policy to our UM colleges and universities. We think that everything we does is the end of the world, but often we forget the Local Church. We forget the pastors who have been in the Conference for 20 years, working for a little above minimum who must somehow interpret our decisions to the three people in their congregation who are paying attention to the decisions of the General Conference. We forget that passing a budget means going back to our churches and getting them to hoist their fair share. Sometimes we forget about the Local Church congregations.

But, at the same time, I see the General Conference as an integral part of UM Polity. Somehow we've got to set the structure and the framework for the Church as a whole. Somehow we've got to establish the way that Church Property is held and how Clergy and Laity are to be held accountable and what it means to be ordained as a deacon or elder. Somehow we've got to know that our money together can do more than our monies seperate. Somehow we've got to maintain a doctrine and a Disicipline and a way of life together. The General Conference establishes our Covenant of Life together as the people called Methodists. Too often it's politicized and built up and divisive, but when it comes down to it, we've got to know what it means to live as a United Methodist in a fallen world, and this then determines how the Local Churches carry out the mission of the Church, to make Disciples of Jesus Christ.

Finally, I don't think that we should write off Conference because it truly is a place where we experience a means of grace. Conference is a place to worship, to hear the Word proclaimed, to expand our relationships and grow our friendships. Conference is a place where God speaks. I heard my call into ordained ministry at Annual Conference, and I believe, that despite all of the challenges that the Conference (Annual or General) faces in the politicized scheme of things, God moves and works at Conference if we're watching. I believe that going to Annual Conference can change the way that we do ministry in our local churches, and I eagerly await the movement of the Holy Spirit at the next conference I attend. I'm so excited that I can't sleep.

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Appointment Watching

It's a busy season. Although Holy Week has passed and clergy breathe a collective sigh of relief, Finals season approaches and Seminary students cringe. I'm currently in the home stretch, and I'm cringing. The end is in sight, but until it gets here my blogging time is limited, although my ideas become endless. Here are my current thoughts.

I've always been an appointment watcher. Growing up in a parsonage I would always cringe when I came home to hear my father talking to the District Superintendent in the Spring. Nine times out of ten, they were just chatting, but it always made me nervous. Growing up in a parsonage made me an appointment watcher. It was always fun to see who was going where...Where my friends were moving to, who was coming to the churches where we had been, feeling sorry for all the other pastor's kids who had to move. I've been an appointment watcher.

As I started to attend Annual Conference, my appointment watching changed. I learned who were the movers and shakers in the Conference. I learned about the appointments that were coveted above all else. I learned why the reading of the appointments is such a big deal. I'm still an appointment watcher. About every two weeks I log onto the Conference website to see who's going where, although my watching isn't as innocent as it was when I was a kid. Now I read and think things like "Good for them! That's a great appointment!" or "Wow...I hope the Bishop sees something in them that I don't!" or "That's the appointment that I want when I leave seminary" or even "I know them. There is no way that they deserve that appointment!". See, many times I think that we watch appointments out of jealously. We think that someone hasn't necessarily earned their new appointment. We wonder how a left-leaning liberal such as so and so could end up with a church like that. We wonder if someone from that no good, Evangelical seminary can make it in the city. We wonder why we didn't get that appointment, and why we're still living in East Podunk. We see people playing the system, playing the politics and we're upset at their seeming conceit.

Appointment watching can be dangerous. It breeds contempt among clergy and clergy families and makes us jealous or leery of others. As I read through Philippians last week, I realized that Paul dealt with Appointment season. As he writes the Philippians in 1:17 he speaks of those who preach the Gospel from envy and strife, saying that they proclaim Christ out of selfish ambition, but then Paul makes a stunning statement "What does it matter? Just this, that Christ is preached in every way, whether out of false motives or true, and in that I rejoice." (Philippians 1:18, NRSV). It doesn't matter to Paul who goes where while he's stuck in prison. It doesn't matter to Paul that he may not like a certain person. It doesn't matter to Paul why Christ is preached or even how Christ is preached. It only matters to Paul that Christ is preached and that God, through the work of the Holy Spirit, speaks into the hearts of hearers.

Where do we go from here? As I've been reading the new appointments I try to remember...Place, prestige, and power don't matter. The Gospel does. May Christ be preached in all appointments, both new and old.

Friday, April 14, 2006

Waiting Silence

At the Maundy Thursday service we put big signs on the doors instructing people to enter in silence. About 6:30, people started to arrive and they followed the instructions of the signs. As people filled the sanctuary, the silence was thick and almost oppressive. In our church, people like to talk. We like to gab and listen to what others have to say, but last night, nothing was said until the service started. Throughout the whole process, I was scurrying around like a church mouse...making sure that all my readers were in place, that Mike knew the deal for Communion, that my musicians were ready, but I, too, operated as quietly as possible, never speaking above a whisper. At 6:50, when I was sure that everyone and everything was ready, I walked to the front of the church and sat down. And waited. And waited. And waited. After what I thought had been an eternity and it must be time to start, I looked at the clock. It was only 6:53. Sitting in that silence was the longest ten minutes that I can remember.

As the service concluded, I asked people to leave in silence, and quietly people left the church. Although the service reminded us that we are people of Easter, our Scripture readings left Christ in the tomb. Although we were reminded of the coming promise, spoken by Jesus, that death would not hold Him in its' grasp, we left Christ in the desolation of the tomb. We left in silence, and now we wait. We wait throughout a day that was filled with devastation for the disciples. We wait throughout a day that was filled with horror and fear for those who knew Him best. We wait throughout a day that reminds us that Christ died. For us. Might we feel the devastation and horror and fear of true followers even as we wait. Darkness descended upon the Earth as The Light was crucified. It's uncomfortable to wait, even when we know the ending. The silence of the tomb is deafening. And now we wait in silence.

Black Friday

Black Friday by Sonya Berg
Darkness closes in at Noon.
"It is finished!"
The veil is torn in two.
On the cross hangs the Son of God.
On His shoulders are the sins of all time.
Surely this man was the Son of God.
-MGJ

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Response to Pacifism

Recently a friend contacted me and asked me to expound on my views of Christ and war-hence, why do I believe in Just War? When is war justified? This is my response.

First of all, I do not believe the issue of pacifism to be crucial to one's salvation. Some people don't agree (hence the guy who spoke last year at Messiah and said that you can't be a son or daughter of God unless you are a pacifist), but I can find no Scriptural basis for this argument. I think that salvation comes through an understanding of the atoning work of Christ on the cross and I believe that we are called to live in light of that grace, striving to develop a deeper relationship and understanding of God in light of the cross. I rank a stance on pacifism in the same area as a stance on predestination or dispensationalism or eternal security. It's important to think about, it has important social and life implications, but it doesn't impact salvation or the work of God's prevenient grace in our lives. I'm not sure that's what you're asking, but that's where I'm at with that aspect of things.

I believe in peace. I pray for peace. I long for peace. I believe that Christ has come to bring peace. I believe that Christ preached a gospel of peace, and I believe that non-violence should work. In fact, with a brother and a brother-in-law both in the military, I pray for peace selfishly, as I don't want those two men that I love to see conflict. But, I still believe that just war is ok. I think that the main reason that I do believe that just war is alright is that I don't believe that the Kingdom of God has arrived in its' fullness. I believe that the Kingdom of God is here and not yet. I believe that the world still is under the tyranical hold of Satan, the prince of the power of the air. So, while I believe that peace is what is to be sought after and conflict should be resolved rather than escalated and oppression should never be a part of human existence, I don't believe that this is the reality that we live in.

I think that the next logical question, then, is "Does this mean that I believe that Christ, through the power of the Holy Spirit and the direction of God the Father, is unable to break in and change things?" The answer to that question is an absolute NO! I believe that God has the power to put an end to the reign of Satan, I believe that Christ will return triumphantly, I believe that Christ through the Holy Spirit is about the business of reconciling all things in Heaven and on earth unto Himself, but I believe that for some reason, which I do not understand, God has given control of the world for the time being to the evil one. So, because this is the case, peace cannot fully reign on earth because the devil is not about peace, but about conflict, war, and violence.

So, what's the role of the Christian in this difficult situation? I believe that the Christian is called to work for the furthering of the Kingdom of Heaven on earth. That means that should be about peace, mercy, justice, redemption, discipleship, etc, etc. What happens, though, when those two things collide? What happens, when an evil dictator is destroying an entire group of people and won't be stopped by negotiation? What happens when the freedom of people group (which is something that I believe strongly in as an Arminian) is taken away? What happens when peace and justice conflict? I think that there are times when war is justified if it is brought about to bring down someone who is endangering the lives of many others and will not be stopped by any other means. I believe that war is the last option that should be pursued, but because we live in a world controlled by the Evil One, sometimes it's the only thing that we can do to bring about justice and an end to oppression, both physical and spiritual. So, I believe that WWII was a just war. There's a part of me that believes that the current Iraqi conflict is probably justified to an extent. (I wish that our leaders had more of an exit strategy, but I believe that bringing down the regime of Saddam Hussein was legit). It's hard to tell, though, about wars that are fresher in our memory (current conflict) because some of our decision must be made through the lens of history. So, here's how it boils down for me...I believe that the political side of war is justified if it is the only option left, if it is not approached lightly and with a plan, and if it is approached to put an end to oppression and bring justice to people that do not have the opportunity to speak for themselves. Does war every advance the Gospel of Christ? Not necessarily, but at the same time, I beileve that God is sovereign and able to work in many situations (i.e. the Afghani man who was able to accept Christ and proclaim his faith in Christ openly because Afghanistan is a free country because of the conflict that ensued there).

At this point, it's hard for me to say how I see God/Christ relating to war. Obviously, throughout the Old Testament God declares war. In the NT, atonement came only through violence done towards one who was undeserving. So what do we do with that? Part of who I am as a Methodist is one who loves that which is practical and that which is rooted in reality. This said, I think that our reality on earth is one that lives in the midst of conflict. Some Christians (like my brothers) are called to be a part of that, others (like yourself) are called to remind us that the Kingdom is coming and there is a better way and to keep us accountable to stay away from gratuitous violence. It's a delicate balance in discerning the way that we are called to be involved in the world around us. Micah tells me that if Christians weren't involved in the military, then we'd be leaving it to those who have no conscience and who have no desire for peace, but rather only violence. It's a difficult place...I relate it to being United Methodist...if I left, I'd be leaving my church to those who don't believe in the divinity of Christ, so I stay and try to make sure that I can have an impact on that body.

Compassionate Christianity

Philippians 1:7-8 It is right for me to feel this way about all of you, since I have you in my heart; for whether I am in chains or defending and confirming the gospel, all of you share in God's grace with me. 8 God can testify how I long for all of you with the affection of Christ Jesus.

What exactly is the “affection of Christ Jesus”? As we enter into Holy Week and turn our faces toward the cross, I find it hard to imagine the affection or compassion of Christ Jesus. This is not a simple phrase to swallow. This is not a phrase that is easily comprehended. In the light of the cross, this is not a simple phrase that can just flow off the tongue. As we will soon see and experience in our times of worship, the affection of Christ was costly and painful. It was deep and intense. It was life-giving to those who received it. It was not easy. I’m beginning to realize that to long for someone with the compassion of Christ is not simply missing someone-it’s being willing to give yourself for the sake of others. It’s a willingness to nail our desires, our wants, our very selves to a cross if it means that others will experience the life-giving richness of Christ Jesus. To long for someone, to have compassion for someone in the same way as Christ is a high order and a high call that is given to all of us. Dare we live it out and watch the Gospel of Christ shake the world.

Here’s the really tough thing. I can think about living with the compassion of Christ toward Beth. I can attempt to show Beth self-giving, life-giving, sacrificial love. I can comprehend attempting to show this love toward my family. On good days, I can think about demonstrating this love toward my close friends. But it’s difficult for me to think about this in connection to others outside of my circle. It’s really hard to think about this in connection to those people for whom I have a distaste. It’s even more difficult to think about this concern and compassion for those with whom I flat out disagree. In my spare time, I read a variety of Methodist-related blogs. I read the views and takes on the church by a wide variety of people, and sometimes I attempt to enter into the conversations that are started. Often, though, the conversations are not centered in self-giving love. They attempt to push their own opinions, taking a ground of moral superiority, attempting to make someone else who doesn’t agree with us look foolish. This is not conversation. This is arrogant conversation that does nothing but tear down the church and sharpen the lines that exist. These conversations don’t show the affection and compassion of Christ to our brothers and sisters. I’m not advocating for a ‘you believe what you want and I’ll believe what I want’ point of view. I’m advocating for compassion, for a willingness to hear others with whom we do not agree. I’m advocating for us to allow Christ to be present in our conversations. I’m advocating for a lifestyle that reflects to all with whom we come in contact the love of Christ, even if it means sacrificing what we think to be our rights or our correct opinions. I’m advocating that we show the world outside of the church that we inside of the church can long for each other with the affection of Christ. That would be truly, absolutely earthshaking.

All in the family

Last night’s UM Discipline and Polity class had all the makings of being possibly the boringest class ever as we attempted to discuss General Administration, talking about the 13 General Agencies. Thankfully, the class took a turn for the better as someone brought up the idea of withholding apportionments. The question focused around the idea of withholding General Church apportionments to attempt to take a stand against some of the things happening at agencies that many local churches cannot support. Our prof recalled a time when he was a young, rebellious pastor and wanted his congregation to withhold monies for the same reason. He remembered how the senior pastor of the church he was serving pulled him aside and said “I love the church. Sometimes I have a lovers quarrel with the church, but I still love the church. If we withhold apportionments, we are no longer part of the family. If we want to see change come, we’ve got to be at the table, part of the family, working out of a position of strength, rather than eliminating our chance to be a part of conversations because we refuse to pay. We need to be part of the family.” As I heard this story, I was unsure of my response. Is it ever appropriate to withhold money? Is it ever OK? The more I’ve thought about it, the more I’ve got to say maybe, but we’ve got to know what we’re getting ourselves into. Withholding apportionments does nothing except anger and alienate people, leaving us voiceless, and I still believe that my voice can be worth more than my money. Thus, I believe that withholding apportionments must be done only as an absolute last resort. It can only be done if we’re saying “We’re no longer part of this family.” If that’s the case, than withholding apportionments is not making a moral or value statement. Instead it’s saying “I’m no longer a part of this,” and it’s effectively removing our voice and influence from the conversation. Pay your apportionments, write your tithe checks, be part of the conversation. Remain part of the family, and work from the inside for change, rather than setting yourself apart and bringing up feelings of anger and resentment that rarely, if ever, produces any type of change.

Sunday, April 02, 2006

The Corruption of the Uncorrupted Cross

In the back of our church, somewhat out of the way in a place that no one can see, hangs a shabby wooden cross with a crown of thorns hanging across the cross bow. The cross is rough hewn and fairly ugly, and this morning was really the first morning that I noticed it. It struck me, especially when compared to the dark-finished, beautiful wooden cross that is located in the front, that our view of the cross is missing something crucial. We want the cross to be beautiful, to be easy to embrace and hold on to. A rough hewn, splintering cross is something that we’d rather hide in the back of the church where we don’t have to see it very often. Yet, I’m beginning to understand that our theology of the cross must not be blemished by the unblemished cross. We are called to take up the cross of Christ as we move throughout life, and the cross we want to hold on to is not one of suffering of self-giving. I think that we need to re-embrace the cross as it is, not as we’d like to see it. The cross must not simply hang in the front of the church as a symbol of beauty-it must become a reminder of the suffering that we’re called to embrace, and the self-giving love that we’re supposed to show to the world around us.

Thursday, March 30, 2006

Living Inbetween

Beth and I are living an in-between life. On Friday she interviewed for a new job, but she won't hear anything until next week. Tomorrow we go for our first interview at NUMC for the youth min position, but that's far from completion. In the midst of these two, we're starting to look at new places to live, but we can't make any decisions until we know what jobs we have and how much they pay. I'm supposed to schedule my fall classes tomorrow, but I can't really nail down a schedule until I know where I'm working. We're living in-between, knowing that we're leaving where we are (probably), but not quite sure when or where we're going. Needless to say, this life is fairly stressful and adds a fair amount of anxiety to our lives. Beth and I are working very hard to hold these two positions with open hands, but it's hard, very, very hard. In the midst of all of this, I'm blown away by the faith of Abraham. I can't imagine how he might feel as he headed toward the place that he didn't know where he was going or when he was going to get there. I can't imagine the kind of faith that it takes to stand in the midst of not knowing where one is going or when you might get there. I'm in awe of faith that takes us to places that we don't know. I'm learning that faith...far, far away, but learning. I'm learning that patience is not as much fun as one might think. I'm learning that faith is more than what gets you through the tough times...faith gets us through the blurry, unknown times. I'm hoping that I can have faith like Abraham...and I'm hoping that I might know where I'm headed soon, too.

Seminary Street Cred

I've come to the conclusion that I when I'm a seminary president (yeah right) I'm going to institute a class to help prospective pastors gain street cred, as I realized today that I have very little. I headed to work this morning and found out that I was working with Gary. Gary is a good ole' Kentucky boy...he's been working at the seminary phys plant for almost 20 years. I'm sure that Gary sees me coming and thinks to himself "Here comes the useless guy again." You see, Gary has been witness to several of my work-related failures (the time I set the yard on fire, the time I ran over a lightpole with the lawnmower, the time I couldn't figure out the right way to get the hitch off the tractor and it turned out that I was tightening it instead of loosening it...you get the picture) and although Gary is a really nice guy, I'm sure that he thinks that I'm just another worthless pastor type. This is way I think that seminaries should offer classes to increase our street cred with people like Gary. See, I can talk about the Greek use of the word phroneo in Philippians or I can identify the the use of parallelism in Matthew's gospel, but that means very little to Gary. Over the past few weeks I've heard it said "I need a pastor who isn't weird" and I've been told "Ministry is about relationships." I'll revise that a little bit...Ministry is about being credible in the eyes of those you minister to so you aren't viewed as weird and so that a relationship can be established. Ministry is about having street cred with the people that you minister to, which is why I think that seminaries should offer classes on how to fix cars or build things or knit and crochet...Things that you can do to build street cred with those you minister to. Sometimes I wonder about how I'll ever have street cred with the people that I'm going to minister with in Western PA. Thankfully, I'm a diehard Pennsylvania sports fan, and anyone who lives in Western PA has to love the Steelers, but other than that, I'm stuck. What happens if I get appointed to East Podunk, PA with people who could care less what I know about theology, people who love country music (I listen to jazz and random, ecletic pop rock), people who hunt (something that I've never done well), people who work on cars and know everything about the Camaro (I can tell you about the 1915 Pittsburgh Pirates, but nothing about cars), people who play country guitar (I play the tuba and I'm a classically trained high-tenor). I need some street cred, and I need to learn that soon. At some level, I realize that loving people makes up for a lack of street cred. I just hope that it's enough.

Watertowers and the Church

This weekend Beth and I made a suicide trip from Kentucky to her home in NY state to celebrate her dad's 50th birthday, meet her brother's fiancee and her sister's new boyfriend. It's been somewhat of a whirlwind, long weekend...BUT...I was struck as we were driving up I-75 by the number of watertowers in Kentucky. They're everywhere...all along the road, you see watertowers, big and small, with the municipalities named scrawled across the tower. Some are simple, saying things like "Jessamine County North," while others attempt to be flashy watertowers, saying things like "Florence Y'all!" Being a Northeasterner, watertowers are not a part of the landscape that I'm used to, but I'm always struck by the importance they play in their respective communities. They show where a community is located, and I always know that I'm almost home when I see the Jessamine County tower. They provide life-giving resources to a community. They're really important, but if you didn't know what they are, you'd never know what you're dealing with. More than that, though, they often become part of the landscape, blending into the countryside without even a notice. But, what do they have to do with the church?
I believe that our churches need to be more like watertowers. I believe that our churches need to be the symbol of a community, directing people and showing people the way home. I believe that our churches need to be careful to be places that gush with the life-giving Gospel. Too often I think our churches become stagnant, holding onto the power we possess, unwilling to share it with those who are outside our community. We bring people in, but we never send them back out to provide resources to the community. Too often, though, we simply stand as a part of the community landscape, doing nothing to show people that we actually have something to offer. We need to be watertowers that stand out, marking our community and offering water to those are thirsty for the things of God.