Battered

On Saturday I attended a seminar at Louisville Presbyterian Theological Seminary called "Growing Souls: A Contemplative Approach to Youth Ministry." It was an excellent conference, and I feel as if I was predestined to be there (Oh...must be the Presbies got to me more than I realized!). Mark Yaconelli led us through several contemplative exercises including lectio divina. Our lectio exercisee was centered around Matthew 14:22-27 where Jesus walks on water in the midst of the storm and the disciples believe him to be a ghost. Part of the lectio exercise asks the participant to pick out a word or phrase that really sticks out. As we went through the exercise, I kept coming back to the word "battered."

Battered. I feel battered. School is kicking up (mid-terms are just around the corner), things at church are painful, although positive, and I feel battered. As I prayed through the word, I ended up saying over and over again "I need to know you're not a ghost. I need to know you're not a ghost." On Saturday and Sunday, that became my prayer. I need to know that you're not a ghost.

Sunday rolled around with all of its' fury. Church, lunch, planning, youth group. Youth group was ending, and in walked an ex-youth member who has been causing us a lot of problems. We had a confrontation with him earlier, asking him to step back from the group or follow our guidelines. It was an extremely painful conversation and I wasn't quite sure how it would end up. The student approached me and the difference from one week to another was overwhelming. With great humility he stated that he had realized that it was time for him to move on and he wanted an opportunity to say good-bye. After the previous meeting, this was nothing other than a movement of the Holy Spirit. Instead of causing a painful rift within the group, he was moving on with grace and maturity and the Holy Spirit was obviously the source of the reconciliation. I need to know you're not a ghost, eh?

Later that evening I spoke to one of our student leaders who has been embroiled in a conflict with another student leader. That evening, he had sought reconciliation and renewal with that student and God had been at work healing the rift that existed between them in miraculous ways. Another sign of the incredible reconciliation available through the Holy Spirit.

I KNOW that you're not a ghost. I still feel battered and tired, but I hear that voice say "Do not fear. It's me. I'm not a ghost." Thanks be to God.