Healing

Last week I sat through a class with Dr. Don Demaray. Dr. Don is 80 years old and about 40 years ago God gifted him with a gift of healing and a healing ministry. Although I have him for a speech class (which is ridiculously boring...I've learned things like I should use facial expressions or write out my speech when speaking in public...wow) he began to talk about healing. One of the other students had recently experienced healing from headaches, etc. and Dr. Don asked him to share his story. After Micah shared, we began to discuss healing, and I realized for the first time that I struggle with the issue of healing. After living with my Crohn's Disease for the past seven years and after praying for healing and having other people pray for my healing and not experience it, I realized that I struggle with the issue of healing. I believe in healing...I believe that God has the power to heal and frequently does so, but I struggle to know why God determines who gets healed and who doesn't. I'm NOT bitter...I'm just realize that talk of healing makes me uncomfortable and often makes me hurt, and frankly, I don't know what to do with that.

See, I know that Jesus Christ is transformational, revolutionary and absolutely power. I believe that the Holy Spirit moves and speaks and heals. I believe in a God that can completely change and perform miracles in the life of the world. So, in the midst of that, I'm not sure why God hasn't healed me. I know that I've learned much through my Crohn's, I know that my relationship with God has been transformed through my life with Crohn's, I know that I've developed my understanding of theodicy, and I know that I can speak deeply into the life of people in pain, but at the same time I wonder when I'll experience healing. I wonder how I can effectively pray for healing in the lives of others. See, healing is one of those areas that makes me uncomfortable, hurt and excited all at the same time.

Where do I go from this? I continue to wait for healing with a thankful heart for what I've already learned. I continue to wait for God to heal those I love. I continue to pray for healing for (spiritual, emotional, relational and physical) for my students (and Thanks be to God, I see it...God is mending broken kids and relationships in the NUMC Youth...Thanks be to God), and in the midst of that, I live into God's promise of healing, and I wait. God is powerful and sovereign and I am not. Thanks be to God.